Rufus and Jenny Triplett are authors of the book, Surviving Marriage in the 21st century: 13 Easy Steps That Can Help You Get to 20 Years and Beyond. The couple has given Ted talks, been featured in Essence and Black Enterprise magazines along with numerous other platforms with their message of longevity. Their focus is building and sustaining happy and healthy marriages.
Married for almost thirty years themselves, the Tripletts are a walking example of their message. They both come from homes where marriage was the only option. “Both of us have long term marriages in our families that were great examples for us. Knowing that many people don’t have that example is what made us want to write this book.” Jenny shared.
“It’s important to hear a perspective of someone who has been committed to their marriage for a number of years and is happily married,” Rufus says. “When I first married Jenny, I wasn’t asking my parents for advice – who have been married for over fifty years – I was asking my friends. Most of them hadn’t been married or had dysfunctional relationships. Instead of telling me to talk to my wife, they were telling me to go to the club. I realized I needed to talk to someone that had been through what I was dealing with successfully. So we wrote this book so that people can have access to what we have access to; successful long term marriages.”
Although the book boasts thirteen easy tips, Rufus and Jenny shared three tips with Rolling Out while visiting “Reality Check” this week.
Tip #1: Leave your man ALONE!
“People laugh when I say this but it’s so true. When men come home the last thing they want to deal with is conversation as soon as they hit the door. Allow him time to come in and relax, get some food, get comfortable before hitting him with a barrage of questions or heavy conversation,” Jenny advises. Rufus says the same is true for men with their women. “With women in the workforce and holding top tier positions they should be afforded the same treatment. Everyone needs time to themselves and a spouse shouldn’t take it as personal if their mate needs some alone time to relax.”
Tip #2: Give yourselves a 72-hour window to calm down before dealing with disagreements.
“People get divorced because of anger issues and the inability to communicate effectively during those times. It’s easier to communicate when you have had time to cool off and think about things. Don’t force the issue while you are angry,” Jenny advises.
Tip #3: Make sure God is the foundation of your relationship.
“There is no way a marriage or relationship can survive without accountability beyond what you have for your mate. It’s important to have a spiritual foundation so that you both know you are working towards a bigger goal than just yourself.”