Story and Images by DeWayne Rogers
Ryan Cameron is a trip — at least that’s what his band of loyal radio listeners have come to love and appreciate about the talented entertainment personality during the span of his illustrious career. But if you take a closer look; one that probes beyond the jokes and past the voice that keeps radio both interesting and informative, you’ll find the heart and mind of a man who’s sincerely devoted to supporting and strengthening his community. So, it came as no surprise to those who know Cameron when he began to systematically edify an often criticized figure in the black community; the black father. According to Cameron, the initiative just seemed like the right thing to do.
“About six years ago, my daughter had an event at this house that was for her school. It was a father-daughter dance. There were about 20 dads in attendance, and there was dancing, food and dessert,” he recalls. “It was just an emotional contact between the two of us … we connected even more than we usually did and I remember thinking this was something that needed to be on a bigger platform. So, I told the people that were organizing it that I wanted to take it to the radio and they agreed. From that point on, it became something that just took off.”
The event’s “taking off” is a gross understatement, but certainly an understandable description once you begin to recognize his humble nature. The truth is that Cameron’s Father-Daughter Dance has become a pre-eminent staple within the greater Atlanta metropolitan area.
The Makings of a Fine Father
Blessed with three children of his own, Cameron understands the blessings and the responsibilities that are intrinsically tied to being a father. When probed, what’s uncovered is a man who dedicated himself long ago to not just talking the talk of fatherhood, but also faithfully walking the walk.
ro: What kind of fatherly influences did you have in your life?
Cameron: It’s funny that you ask that. People always ask me why I have the type of relationship that I have with my kids now. It was because my own relationship with my father was nonexistent. I was raised by two of the biggest male chauvinists of all time. My two grandfathers were no joke. We could be arguing, and my grandfather would be just sitting there, and he would yell, ‘Now that’s enough of that now, and I mean that!’ And everybody would just go quiet. That’s the kind of house that he ran. And my other grandfather was just a very rough and rugged type of guy. There wasn’t going to be any ‘I love yous.’ He was the type of cat that had an ulcer, but would drink milk to coat his stomach before he started drinking his Johnny Walker Red. He was just hard like that. I grew up in a relationship that was really, really tough, so I said to myself when I have children, I don’t want to have them grow up missing those things. It has been very important to me that I talk about our relationship, and how much I love them. I also ask them a lot of open ended questions like, ‘When Daddy says he loves you, what does that mean?’ and, ‘What does love mean to you?’ So, we talk about those things and they know that it’s very important that we have a loving relationship, and that we express our love.
ro: There are a lot of men who grow up without a father and they choose to continue the cycle when they have children. Why was it different with you?
Cameron: I was [also] raised by women — two grandmothers who were the total opposite of the men they married. And I talk about this on the radio, that one of my grandmothers was married 57 years, and then got a divorce. And then she was dead six months later. So how much time did she have that she was going through hard times, but stayed with it? And then my other grandmother got married at 13, and stayed with the same man. So they were very nurturing. So when my grandfathers were out working, they would be at home telling me how to treat women, and how to respect women. They also let me know that every woman is somebody’s sister, and somebody’s child, so you need to treat them that way. So that’s what kind of led me to feel the way that I do about my daughters.
ro: Take us back to those first thoughts when you had your first child.
Cameron: When she was finally born, (and I tell this to dads all the time), now all of a sudden you really know your purpose. It’s one thing to encounter situations where you think someone is pregnant, or someone actually becomes pregnant, but when a child is actually living and breathing, and you can hold them, for most people it becomes something of a rite of passage. You tell yourself that you really have to be responsible now, because this person’s existence is based on what you do from this point on.
ro: So what changed about you?
Cameron: It was time to grow up. You have to realize that now it’s time to grow up and be a man. You begin to cut out things that you were doing socially, because you’ve got to walk that walk. And for me to have two daughters in a row — I know guys that have had four daughters in a row, and they always call it ‘sins of the player,’ and that the reason that you have all of these daughters is because of all of the wrong that you were doing. So when I had two daughters, I said to myself, ‘Alright, I really have to be on point.’ And then when I had my son, I was like, ‘OK! I must be doing better.’
ro: What do you hope to instill in your son?
I just want him to realize that he has a lot of pressure as a black man, but that he can accomplish anything that he sets his mind to. I think that was proven a few days ago with Barack [Obama]. It was also proven … that education is the key. And that’s something that I will work to instill in my son.
An Eye Towards The Future
As the final father-daughter pairs exit the Ritz-Carlton Buckhead and drive off into the Atlanta night after this year’s dance, Cameron will have a chance to sit back, loosen his tie, and reflect on yet another year of successfully promoting the importance of strong fathering. But that moment will be fleeting at best, as Cameron has never been one to dwell too long in any particular moment. This is best evidenced by the way he so eloquently sermonizes the importance of the occasion. His sustained fervor reveals that there’s much more work to do.
“There’s so much that I would like to accomplish with the Father-Daughter Dance,” he concludes. “I would love to see it grow into an event that’s one day housed in the Georgia World Congress Center. Can you imagine the impact of having thousands of fathers and daughters coming together to experience this event? It would be huge — it will be huge.”
And so it goes with Cameron, once he puts his mind to something, it’s sure to be “huge.” At present, black fathers might get a bad rap, but if Cameron continues at this pace, the tide will soon be turning.
