Her Story
“I want a guy with serious swag,” she told her girlfriends. They all nodded in agreement. What she was really subconsciously saying was, “I want an a–hole who’s nice to me, but who doesn’t take sh– from anyone else.”
Once she found him, their relationship began to flourish … That is, until his “swag” morphed into something that she didn’t bargain for. Over time, he stopped being so nice, and eventually dropped her into the “I don’t take sh– from you” pile along with everyone else. This would normally be a sad story, but it’s the fifth time that the exact same thing has happened over the last two years. So, to be perfectly honest, she lost the pity card three men ago. Today, she’s left to commiserate with those same friends as to why she keeps falling for guys who don’t respect or cherish her.
His Story
For some odd reason, he always finds himself in the friend zone. When pursuing women, he usually gets the “You’re such a nice guy, and you’ll make a great husband one day” pat on the head. Translation: You’re safe, and I don’t feel like being safe right now.
So, he sits and waits. His nights are filled with phone calls from those same women as they spend hours complaining about the guys that treat them wrong. He wants to say something, but he can’t … He’s just a friend.
He even tried to start incorporating the same brand of swagger the sister above was seeking into his dating “persona,” but it came off as insincerity. The universally accepted definition of what that word means is just not who he is, and the only thing that he knows how to be is himself.
But that doesn’t seem to be paying dividends right now…
The New Outlook
For the women – There needs to be more that attracts you to a man than swagger. Now, there’s nothing wrong with being attracted to a man with confidence, but confidence alone won’t make you happy. Besides, confidence is an emotion capable of changing overnight. It’s best that you place your chips on something more tangible—like the way he treats you and others.
For the men – It must suck to be you right now. Not because there’s anything wrong with you … In fact, it’s the exact opposite. You’re doing everything right to win her heart, and you still aren’t getting anywhere. My advice to you is to avoid the temptation of changing who you are. I’ve even brought some ammunition to the table, by sharing Three Nice Guys Who Finished First. Keep the faith, my brother.
Nice Guy #1- Bruce Leroy
He was corny … he was shy … and he didn’t have any “moves.” But none of that mattered to Bruce Leroy, as he didn’t let society change him. And what came out of his insistence to stay true to himself? Well, outside of getting the glow, he also managed to snag the hottest chick in the game.
Nice Guy #2- Daniel LaRusso
This scrawny kid got beat up every single day. And while the deck was always stacked against him, he had one thing going for him … his sense of humor (not to mention that cool crane kick.) The tough guys may have scowled, but in the end, the man capable of making the girl laugh came out on top.
Nice Guy #3- Tyrone Hill
I find it fascinating that Tyrone Hill pulled women … In the daytime, at that! And while I’m sure his NBA contract had something to do with his sex appeal, Tyrone still came across as a guy who was comfortable being ugly. In the end, his ease in his own reptilian skin made women feel comfortable, as well.
Are you recognizing a theme developing here? That’s right; it pays to be yourself. And if a person can’t accept you for who you are, then f–k them. That’s the real moral of this story. —dewayne rogers
**DeWayne Rogers is the author of The Fly Guy Chronicles: Your In-depth Guide to Love, Relationships and Everything in Between.
