Many people know me as New York Times best-selling author JL King but for my premiere article for rolling out magazine, I wanted to speak from the heart; not as an author but as an activist. With the rash of bullying and suicides of gay and lesbian teens across America, I personally feel that self-acceptance, particularly in the LGBT community, is an issue screaming for attention.
When you take into consideration my very public evolution, you see the complete 180 degree progression that has occurred in my life. If you’ll remember, during my first appearance on Oprah, I adamantly proclaimed that I did not consider myself gay. Fast-forward seven years and I was able to stand in front of Lady O and the world and proudly confess that I am “… a proud gay man.”
While it has been a long road to the place where I am now, I’m the first to admit that the journey was well worth it. The aspect I’m most grateful for is I learned that who you sleep with does not define who you are. The benefit of my struggle in accepting myself is that I’m now positioned to help others come to grips with their own struggle of acceptance.
The first step in accepting one’s gay or lesbian orientation and enjoying life against the odds is to understand that sexuality is only a portion of who you truly are and that it does not define you. Just as heterosexuals are multi-faceted outside of the bedroom, so are gays. The second step in self-acceptance is to examine the age-old issues against gays and understand why they still exist.
Dealing with the concept of living life as a secure gay or lesbian individual leads one to realize that the basis of the discrimination against LGBT people stems from the personal opinions of others. It is the mindset of those passing judgment that hinders their own growth and not that of the person they are condemning. Heterosexual individuals rarely view themselves by their sexuality alone so why is that society is constantly forcing this premise on gays and lesbians?
What’s worse is there are mothers that would rather have a womanizing, deadbeat or drug-addicted son as opposed to a college-educated son with a strong future who just happens to be gay. I think this is so because too many of us are only familiar with the negative stereotypical images of gays and don’t realize that gay men and women are generally more educated, better off financially and well-rounded culturally. Who could ask for more in their child?
The problem with making sweeping judgments against the gay and lesbian community is that the only resource considered when doing so is one’s personal opinion and we all know what’s been said about those, everybody has one … The time has come for America to shake the inaccurate images that we’ve become accustomed to and embrace the pride and resilience of the gay community.
