The Essence Music Festival lured thousands upon thousands of the most beautiful women on the planet.
Every kind of beautiful woman, from svelte Cali girls, to curvy Mississippi Masalas, swarmed the Big Easy and scores of male tourists became giddy at the prospect of having just one, or perhaps two, beautiful women to seduce over the weekend.
There are courting games and mating rituals (this is New Orleans, Louisiana, home of that Creole Voodoo), that rolling out unearthed during the biggest destination weekend on the African American tourism calendar, and here are a few male confessions.
Rolling out asked random men: Do you have a ritual for luring women during Essence Festival? Here’s what they had to say.
James from Houston: “I come here with my guys, they’re married I’m not, and at first I didn’t know why they didn’t take off their wedding bands. I thought, you know, showing that you’re married would drive women away, but they used to get a lot of [women], so I started wearing a ring too. Women like a married man, I guess cause he’s not crazy, and he’ll know it’s just a weekend thing cuz he’s got a wife at home.”
James’ friend, Roscoe, also from Houston. “There’s a different type of woman you get with a ring. You’ll attract a doctor or something like that because she’s married too, and your ring demonstrates that you’re responsible and aren’t crazy. If I want a ghetto girl, I’ll take the ring off; make her think that this is some romance and that I’ll come back for her. If she’s good, I will come back, but not for the reasons she thinks.”
Terrence from Michigan: “The only ritual I have is don’t answer any 504-area code phone calls nine months from now. I have a girlfriend, I don’t need that drama.” (He laughs, but he may be serious.)
Dr. Feel Good from Biloxi, Mississippi: “I always join my wife and her friend here, and her friend has an older sister. My ritual is to [have sex with] the older sister when my wife and her friend goes shopping.”
Mr. X from Chicago: “I always go for the girl with the most meat and the skimpiest clothes. She’s confident and fun, this ritual has never let me down. Southern girls are the thickest, not enough of them in Chicago.”
Sean from Baton Rouge: “I pretend to that this is my first time at the festival every year. I ask for help and then I take it from there. ‘You’re the most beautiful woman here,; I’ll tell the girl. I always complement the eyes, one year a girl had an eye patch, something about eyelash glue accident, but I told her that she had a pretty eye and that broke the ice. She was nice. I always go for that nice lady, the one that looks like she has a Bible in her purse. Usually, she ain’t got no Bible, just Trojans. Hee-hee.”
OK, guys, we couldn’t get to all of you. What is your cheating ritual when you’re in the Big Easy?
