Who she is has never been in question. She’s learned life’s lessons in the public eye, oftentimes with her missteps becoming fodder for critique and ridicule. “I’m pretty sure everybody in the industry — and in life, period — has things that they feel like they would do over, but I don’t really regret much in my life,” she claims. “There are certain things that I would do over — and certain things that I would do differently. [But] the things that I go through and the things that I’ve gone through have become a major part of who I am today. “
She’s had to feel the sting of severed relationships and personal betrayals often in her life. Kim infamously cut ties with her former Junior M.A.F.I.A. brethren after members Lil’ Cease and Banger testified against her during her 2005 perjury trial. She and Bad Boy impresario Sean “Diddy” Combs have had a hot-and-cold relationship throughout their intertwined careers and her relationship with Biggie’s mother, Voletta Wallace, has been especially strained over the last several years. Last fall, she announced her breakup with her boyfriend, Mr. Papers, via Twitter before later tweeting that they’d reconciled; and she hasn’t given up on marriage and love (“If it happens, it happens, I’m not going to fight it. At the end of the day, I feel like I can have both.”) She’s gotten rid of her old management team (“At this point I don’t really have main management.“), and though she has opened Salon Se Swa, a series of boutiques with her cousin, Katrise Jones, that venture has also soured (“At this point we’re not really getting along, business-wise.”)
If nothing else, Kimberly Jones remains defiant and unbowed. Much of her resilience is tied to her having learned to separate business from feelings. “I mean … business is business and personal is personal,” Kim says. “I think that’s always been clear, but you learn more why it’s clear as you live it.”
Combs helped teach Kim that lesson. While she admits that her renewed emphasis on mogul-dom is tied to the direct influence of Diddy (or “Puffy,” as she still refers to him); she also readily admits that their relationship is complex. Combs recently tapped Kim to be the first lady of Ciroc Vodka, acknowledging their ongoing bond. “Puffy called me one day and he tracked me down through some people I knew,” she says of how this latest endeavor together came about. “[He said] ‘No matter what, you’re going to always be my sister.’ We always go through things like that. At the end of the day, we’re tied to each other through B.I.G.’s estate and B.I.G.’s iconic, historic legacy.”
Those strained relationships are the cost of ambition and Kim won’t allow fear or uncertainty make her become professionally stagnant.
“I’m a real artist. I [have] basically been in the game for a minute, [so it’s] where I feel like it’s time to go to [another] level in my career,” Kim says of her career’s progression. “I think every artist has that moment — if you’re a real artist. I care about what I do, so in different things [you’re] always concerned about your next step — but that doesn’t stop me from taking it.”
One step Kim doesn’t seem to be interested in taking is the move to a reality show. She was reportedly offered a show as far back as 2004 that never made it to air, and despite winning “Dancing With the Stars” in 2009, she is happy to remain a spectator as opposed to joining the often-tawdry and catty world of bad girl television. “I never say ‘never,’ but I don’t look at television shows or reality shows and say ‘I want to be on this show,’ ” Kim shares. “Not really. I’m more so into just watching them for entertainment purposes.”
Reigniting her music career would go a long way to silence any Lil’ Kim naysayers. “I just think that my fans — not even just my fans, but even potentially new fans — are ready to hear some new Lil’ Kim music and everyone knows that … I put a lot of my reality into my music [that] people can identify with,” Kim says. “People are ready to hear real rap — real s— coming from a female. Because I’ve always been different, no matter what. My music has always been very sexual and very pro-women. Now I get to do that through my new artists. I have my label coming out, which makes me very driven. “
