In episode 1 or 2… When Sheree stepped into lunch with her stomach out wearing (gasp!!) a white bra, I had an unfortunate knee-jerk reaction. ‘White bras’ are a pet peeve. I do believe they should be outlawed. I am actually working on a book called “White Bras and other Faux Pas,” so although my reaction was probably inappropriate, to me, it’s just that serious! Truthfully, we laughed for so hard about the subject and my reasons, of course that too ended up on the cutting room floor. Death to White Bras! 😉
I have made mistakes. When the producers asked to film my T-Market (Flea Market) event in support of my “Kile’s Word Foundation”, I honestly should have never agreed to it. That was my fault. Once there, the producers felt the scenes didn’t have “enough action.” So, I was told they sent Torrei and her friend Traci Steele to start some shit – and shit they started! Not the optimal plan…
What they didn’t know is anything having to do with the loss of my son is off limits, especially when mockery or childish fodder is included. I can’t untangle those feelings for TV. It is a zone that doesn’t go with the rest of my entertainment life. Although creating a confrontation there may have provided the “action” or the valuable drama I spoke of earlier, it was a mistake. Poor in taste.
After shooting that scene, you may have heard the rumors that I quit the show. BINGO – that was why. I don’t want it nor need it that bad, seriously.
But, I didn’t quit. I’m not a quitter. My life shows that.
If you have been watching in episode 3, you have seen me say some unkind things about Torrei’s sisterlocks. A note to my Natural sisters: I have total respect for Natural Hair. In fact, underneath my weaves I’m natural too! I respect the choice and discipline required to go natural. I just do not subscribe or applaud those ‘synthetic’, presto additions that are supposed to emulate natural hair. After all, a weave is a weave is a weave!! We are all in the same gang! LOL! Please don’t be mad naturalitas, I love natural hair, be it locks, braids or an afro they are beautiful indeed… I am a little tense about bad edges however… that’s another blog post.
Torrei in a couple of scenes even had the bold audacity to speak about my kids. She even said on camera that people “around town” are saying that Kile’s death may be Karma. I wonder which town she is referring to, because if it’s Atlanta, That is my town. I have been in Atlanta for 17 years, compared to her four (4) months, be clear that is not how we roll. That is so inappropriate as to be beyond description. I hope no mother has to experience the pain of losing a child. For those that have implied that I have used his passing as an ‘excuse’, my only response is you try and decide which one of your kids can you live without? Once you conclude that the answer is NONE, maybe then you will understand the veracity of losing a child. The fact that she was even able to say that on camera is unconscionable. All things aren’t up for television banter nor do I take ANYTHING involving my children lightly. That’s when I lose it… yeah all bets are off about my Kile or any of my “five heartbeats”.
As far as ‘Karma’ goes…I serve a real God. My God is not an-eye-for-an eye God. My God would never harm a child because his mother is bitchy or opinionated. That is absurd and the furthest thing from faithful and intelligence I’ve heard. Karma???
The bickering about my custody case, etc… are all based on misinformation, gossip and innuendo. None of it is factual. Just for the record, as always, I have shared custody of my children and nothing else should be used against me for a damned Reality TV show that is not based on reality, but ratings. Ignorance is just that… Don’t believe everything you read about me, unless I verify it. Period point blank…
Keep watching. We are all growing. Watch, learn and don’t make the same mistakes we’ve made. Thank you all for going through this hellified rollercoaster ride with me over the last two weeks. Cant change the past but hopefully I can help you better understand it. Please check back here, each week where I will attempt to put the reality back into reality TV. Thanks for reading and again thank you for your support!
See you next week!
– ruthie hawkins/@ruubabie