As we celebrate World AIDS Day Dec. 1, I have lived with HIV for 31 years and AIDS for 22 years.
The longer I live with this disease, the more I understand that life is so precious. Each day that I wake, I give life all that I have to give. My journey has been long and difficult, but I am grateful for the journey because it has shaped me into the women that I am today.
It takes a lot of guts to stand with pride each day with a disease that still carries so much stigma and shame, 33 years after the first documented cases by the CDC. Be clear, even 31 years in, I am not deterred but more determined to live the blessing of being alive. In all of my wisdom, I understand that HIV is a complex disease on one end, and simple on the other.
This is what I now know sure:
1. HIV is a preventable disease yet every ten minutes a person becomes infected with HIV in the United States. New infections at this rate sends a strong message, “I don’t see myself at risk for HIV, so I do not change my behavior.” The reality in the 21st century is simple. You don’t always know what you think you know. Each time you have sex without a condom you are possibly putting your life at risk for HIV. Why risk it at all? Why not simply use a condom and be sure of what you know?
2. The earlier you know your HIV status the longer you live. Yet, people are afraid to get tested for HIV. About 38 percent of newly diagnosed cases of HIV are people infected by people who did not know that they had HIV. It’s simple, early treatment and care will prolong your life and it will also reduce new infections. Most people with HIV protect their partners. Go get tested! It really is better to live in truth, rather than what you think you know.
3. HIV is treatable. When I was diagnosed with HIV in 1987 there were no medications to treat HIV. AZT did not exist at the time. In fact, the life expectancy for someone with full-blown AIDS was three years. At one point My T-Cell count was 8, I was a size zero and I had three bouts of Pneumocystis Pneumonia. There was no expectation to live with this disease. Today, there have been so many advancements in HIV and AIDS care and treatment. There are over 30 HIV medications. If you become infected, you can live well over 30 years. Of course this is all contingent upon you knowing your HIV status and getting into treatment.
4. No person infected with HIV should live alone. I lived in secret with my HIV status for over eight years. I only told five people those first seven years, other than my partners. Looking back, I think the secret was killing me quicker than the disease. It requires more energy to live in secret and shame than to live in your truth, but truth sets you free. Once I disclosed my status, it felt like tons of bricks had been lifted off my shoulders. What I learned in the end was that people who are going to love and support you are going to do so with or without HIV. Those who don’t support you are toxic, narrow people that you don’t need in your life with or without HIV. What I know for sure is that living in isolation with this disease will cause depression. Depression affects everything you do, from complying with your medication, to how we relate to others. If infected, you need a support system, even if it’s not your biological family. I also recommend a good therapist or HIV group, but isolation is deadly.
5. Stand tall because your life is a gift from God. When I first started speaking at high schools in Chicago, I would tell the freshman students, “by the time you graduate, I will be dead.” At one point I was sick enough to die, but with the help of a great doctor and crossing every “t” and dotting every “i,” I survived. Today, more than twenty years later, I understand more than ever that God’s plan for your life is greater than anything you can imagine, even with HIV. When you stand tall you have a better view. You can see the greatness in yourself unfold. Don’t ever let anyone define your life or the value of your life. Whether you are infected with HIV or affected by HIV, your life is your own. Stand tall on the value that God has rendered for your life. In doing so, you will live your best life.
Rae Lewis-Thornton is an Emmy Award winning AIDS Activist. She rose to national acclaim when she told her story of living with HIV and AIDS in a cover story to Essence Magazine. In the past 22 years, she has traveled worldwide in an unending crusade in the fight against HIV and AIDS.
For more information about Rae Lewis-Thornton, please log onto www.raelewisthornton.com
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