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Did a shortage of suitable men force a Black woman to marry herself?

Yasmin Eleby

Yasmin Eleby had dreams of being married before the age of 40. However, after not finding a suitable mate, Eleby decided to marry herself.

According to Black Art in America, the Houston native tied the knot with herself in front of family and friends at the Houston Museum of African American Culture. For her honeymoon, Eleby will travel to Cambodia and the jazz festival in Dubai.

But there is a deeper issue to this public display of self-love. The media will cause Black women to believe that they are destined to be single. Some outlets have suggested that one of the main reasons Black women aren’t getting married is because of a lack of available Black men.

There is a notion that the majority of Black men are either in jail, homosexual, or only attracted to women of different ethnicities. However, those assumptions are mostly a myth.

The Census Bureau revealed in 2009 data that over 70 percent of Black women had never been married. But their data only counted women between the ages of 25-29. When considering Black women who are at least 55, only 13 percent have never been married.

This is not to suggest that women will have to wait until they are 55 to get married, but there are circumstances that are causing some people to wait longer before tying the knot.

Unlike 40 years ago, more women are now seeking higher education and careers. Working to obtain higher education or remaining focused on a career could, at times, interfere with relationships. A lack of economic stability can also put a damper on relationships. These are a few key factors as to why marriage is being delayed by many in this generation.

But do not believe that there is a shortage of available Black men. You probably won’t marry Idris Elba, but all that is needed is one guy who can complement and love you.

Hopefully, Eleby will be the last Black woman who feels the need to marry herself.


  1. britishrose on January 28, 2015 at 8:14 pm

    THEY….. FORGOT THE BIGGEST DEAL BREAKER , THE BIGGEST REASON ANYONE IS SINGLE THE internet chatline , datesites , and … what men lust is sex first ,TO try you out and if it keeps them interested they may call back for seconds, , a few more times , to women that is wasting their time women think just cause they are beautiful and fine , a man should marry them .. BUT THAT IS A MYTH WOMEN created ,, a man have to want to come home to you and only you, a rare trait all men dont carry the ability to narrow it down and stop thirstying after every new booty they see , men cheat more than women , we live in a world they learn early to devalue women , ,their fathers and uncle tell them ohhh man you can have plenty like her , and they keep hunting , some grow old not finding awife cause they hunting instead of shopping , dating is a martket , women know someone will want them the question is who? AND ARE THEY WORTHY OF YOU.. YOU CANT PICK HIM EITHER CAUSE HE LIKES YOU , HE HAS TO HAVE A JOB, CAR , HOME , AND SOMTHING TO bring to the table a lot of sisters are focused on raising kids another detractor , a man who dont want a woman with kid should not be sexing her know he aint gonna stay, so many black women are single moms than whtie women , so that is the main reason some, are single , the girl who married herself probably got a few kids , THE BIG DEAL BREAKER FOR MEN .,SO WHY DO THEY SLEEP WITH HER ?.. it just makes it harder for her to keep her confidence and keep seeeking , THERE IS A MAN for every black woman , but you cant sleep with a dozen , then keep going like that, WHAT NOW IS SCARY FOR MEN , THEY WANT EVEN CALL IF YOU ASK THEM WHAT NOW ? WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE? , YOUR SORT OF AT THEIR MERCY SINCE YOU CANT GET MARRIED UNLESS THEY INVITE YOU .. ITS LIKE THE PROM YOU CANT GO UNLESS A MAN INVITE YOU , WOMEN START EARLY BELIEVEING THEY HAVE to wait , wait wait on a man , shit not me , whip it on him cook a nice dinner, and make your level of competiton high , like all the women you see that got husbands , that stay home , but just to get married is not all you have to do , you cant be picking no cheater , some men are moma titty suckers and aint trying to marry just want to jack off at night , or get thots off line or quickies so learn to screen good , the ones who go for white girls had bad experience with sistas that all , nothing new , I BELIEVE BLACK MEN LONG FOR SISTAS EVEN WHEN THEY MARY WHITE , OR ASIAN , ITS JUST A FACT NO ONE WANTS TO DEAL WITH ,. SO SISTA KEEP YA HEAD UP , THEY OUT THERE .. AND WHAT THIS WOMAN DID WAS STUPID SHE DID IT FOR COMMERCIAL USE , ITS NOT LEGAL TO MARRY YOUR SELF ..what for so you can finger your self if you want to be a virgin, dont look for a man, i doubt if you gonna find a preacher even that want sample the goods first ,, real talk .. THATS THE DIRTY OF MARRIAGE IT AINT LILLY WHITE LIKE WOMEN HAVE PAINTED .. ITS JUST A STUPID GAME

    • Nigg.Newton on January 30, 2015 at 5:21 am

      WOW…your grammar is a thing to work on, but the CONTENT, and MESSAGE is 1000%, on point and RIGHT!

  2. Betty-B on January 29, 2015 at 9:08 am

    Just had this convo yesterday, I am 50 never married, I feel I may never marry. I guess now I have hope 55.

    • Nigg.Newton on January 30, 2015 at 5:22 am

      ANSWER: Look for a 50+ yr old man and start smiling at men more…

      Black Women, have made striking up a general conversation, obsolete. But other non-black women, do it daily.

  3. ruth on January 29, 2015 at 12:55 pm

    Black women: keep your heads up and your weight down and you’ll be ok. be open to dating other ethnicities, be friendly, fun, a comfort to come home to, don’t accept abuse or try to buy love. Be realistic, not too picky. If you’re not a Beyonce type, not expect a Denzel. Love the men who love you; character is what matters most!

  4. Terrence S M Popp on March 9, 2015 at 1:45 am

    I do comedy videos about this on