For as long as I can remember, there’s been talk about the “angry Black woman,” a stigma that is much too often placed on strong Black women. While some of us are OK with that title, and feel we have every reason to be just that, I can’t agree.
I’m not an angry Black woman because I’ve come too far in life to give in to oppression of any kind. I’m not angry because although I don’t have it all, I have enough to keep me going and go after what I want in life. I was once the little girl who didn’t know where my next meal was coming from at times. I went without things that are considered necessities in most households. Everything I wasn’t as a child, has fueled me to become everything I am and aspire to be as a woman.
I refuse to be angry because I’m too blessed to be stressed over obstacles that are beyond my control. More importantly, I’m not an angry Black woman because I’m not raising an angry Black girl. My daughter is almost 4 years old, she hangs on my every word and pays close attention to my every move. How can I teach her to love the skin she’s in if I’m angry in my own?
I want my daughter to be a strong woman who is aware of oppression, but doesn’t allow it to stand in her way. Yes, Black women often have to fight twice as hard as others to climb to the top of a corporate ladder or win as entrepreneurs, but many are doing just that and making it look easy.
We don’t have to be angry to be aware, outspoken and confident. I’m not raising an angry Black girl, because angry Black girls grow up to be angry Black women. I want her to be resilient, successful and unapologetic about knowing her worth. I don’t want her to fall into the “angry Black woman” category.
I understand that we don’t have it easy in this world, and there are times when we really will be angry. All of the injustices faced by women and men of color piss me off, but that anger won’t turn into a lifestyle for me. I won’t allow it to because my daughter looks up to me, and my being angry will do her no good. I’ve made the personal choice to not allow that anger to consume me. At some point, we have to end the cycle.
