In a new Lenny Letter, actress Joy Bryant sounds off about why she’s sworn off having kids — and why people need to stop trying to convince her otherwise.
“If one more person asks me if and when I’m going to have children, or tries to convince me that I should, or offers their unsolicited advice,” she begins, “I’m gonna, I’m gonna…Exhale. I’m going to politely tell them to mind their own business.”
The “Parenthood” star went on to argue that there’s no polite way to approach this age-old convo, because what she chooses to do with her body is no one’s business but her own. Given the tone of Bryant’s essay, it appears these “conversations” are invasive altercations forced on her.
She wrote, “Notice I said politely, because while people have no problem being impolite, or insensitive, or invasive, or just straight-up rude, I, as the recipient, must keep my cool and either explain myself or gracefully defend myself. They’re lucky I’m a classy broad. I know people don’t mean any harm, but this really shouldn’t be an issue at all, because what I choose to do or not do with my womb should be of no concern to anyone but my husband.”
In fact, Bryant detailed various arguments people weild to convince her to have children — like how she’ll have “beautiful” kids or plays “such a good mom” on television, that it’s sure to translate over to real life. The 41-year-old then explained why none of the above are compelling enough reasons to sway her opinion on motherhood. By doing this, Bryant perfectly sums up why the intense pressure for women to become mothers needs to stop. Having kids is not a one-size-fits-all decision. It’s up to each woman to make the best choice for her life without judging the choices of others.
“What’s good for you is not necessarily what’s good for me,” Bryant continued. “Your life goals are not the same as mine. And in the immortal words of the poet Jay Z, what you eat don’t make me shit.” Adding, “We have come so far and accomplished so much. We don’t have to be automatic breeders. My womb doesn’t belong to the world. It doesn’t even belong to my husband. It is mine and mine alone.”
Of course, Bryant is not alone in her sentiments regarding motherhood. In 2009, Cameron Diaz told Parade, “I have an unbelievable life. In some ways, I have the life that I have because I don’t have children.”
“Having children changes your life drastically, and I really love my life,” she later told InStyle. “Children aren’t the only things that bring you gratification and happiness, and it’s easier to give life than to give love.”
Media mogul Oprah Winfrey also has no apologies for prioritizing career over family. “[My children] would have ended up on the equivalent of the Oprah show talking about me,” she once told The Hollywood Reporter. “Because something [in my life] would have had to suffer, and it would’ve probably been them.”
Just in case you were wondering, famous men too have sworn off parenthood. Take for instance George Clooney, who in 2012 told BANG Showbiz, that the thought of just “one kid running around my villa makes me nervous, so I’m definitely not a candidate for father of the year!”
He said, “If I need to surround myself with children and feel like I have this big extended family, I can always call Brad and Angie and ask them to stay with me, just to remind me why I’m so happy without.”
No matter what approach people take to change Bryant’s mind about having children, they’re missing the point. The topic is never up for discussion for her — or any man/woman who decides against having kids.
What are your thoughts on Bryant’s essay urging people to stop pressuring women to have kids? Sound off in the comment section below.
