Rihanna shuts down Snapchat single-handedly; social media rejoices

Photo: [email protected]

Rihanna did not just snatch off Snapchat’s wig and stomp on it, she also swiped its soul (meaning its stock market value) sending it further into the abyss.

After Snapchat ran a repellent ad on its platform that flagrantly mocked domestic violence — and then Rihanna came and peeled off Snapchat’s scalp with a withering rebuke — Snapchat’s shares dropped as much as 5 percent, CNBC reports. This means the Snapchat app lost in market capitalization somewhere in the range of $600 million to $1 billion.

“Now SNAPCHAT I know you already know you ain’t my fav app out there!” Rihanna began as she fired up the blowtorch. “But I’m just trying to figure out what the point was with this mess! I’d love to call it ignorance, but I know you ain’t that dumb!” the singer said on Instagram on Thursday …”

Rihanna continued the slow burn on Snapchat’s backside as she vented before her 61 million Instagram followers.

“This isn’t about my personal feelings, cause I don’t have much of them … but all the women, children and men that have been victims of [domestic violence] in the past and especially the ones who haven’t made it out yet … you let us down! Shame on you. Throw the whole app-oligy away.”

After saying sorry on Monday for the ad, which Snapchat says was “reviewed and approved in error,” the company felt compelled to repeat its meaningless and hollow mea culpa on Thursday.

“This advertisement is disgusting and never should have appeared on our service. We are so sorry we made the terrible mistake of allowing it through our review process. We are investigating how that happened so that we can make sure it never happens again.”

You can be sure it won’t happen again because it’s hard to breathe, much less thrive, inside a coffin.

The ones who are nailing it shut are faithful Rihanna followers, and former clients like the U. S. Department of the Navy, who are all avoiding the app like a contagion.

Terry Shropshire
Terry Shropshire

A military veteran and Buckeye State native, I've written for the likes of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Atlanta Business Chronicle and the Detroit Free Press. I'm a lover of words, photography, books, travel, animals and The Ohio State Buckeyes. #GoBucks

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