J.J. Hairston is a gospel legend and pastor best known for his songs “Miracle Worker” and “Thankful.” He recently released his latest album Believe Again, Vol. II on March 31, 2023, to help people regain their faith despite everything going on in the world.
He and his wife’s book, A Miracle Marriage, shares their personal experience in a relationship and the steps they took to save their union. The author and marriage counselor shared his expertise on relationship issues.
What advice would you give the younger generation about dating and relationships?
So, I am so glad I’m not on the dating scene in this season. My wife and I got married when I was very young. I was 20 and she was 18. So, when we first got married, we had no idea what marriage was. We knew the benefits, but we didn’t know the commitment. So, we got married quickly trying to receive the benefits, not understanding what the responsibilities will be on the other side. Because of that, we went through some real challenges in our initial days of marriage. The reason why our book is called A Miracle Marriage is because we went from divorce court to now being marriage counselors and pastors together. So, we had to go through some transition in order to get to that place. What I would tell the young people today and I feel so old saying the young people, but what I would say is, to understand what you’re getting into before you do. Learn from me, like we lost three, or four years of our lives, not understanding the commitment we [were] about to walk into. [As far as] the dating scene, I know people want to have fun, but you should date for commitment.
Why do you think it is harder for people to find meaningful relationships?
So, what I’ve noticed is this generation; they date to experiment. They don’t date for marriage and that’s cool. Some people don’t really want to get married and I’m not trying to force marriage on anybody. What I am saying is if you’re experimenting all the time, when it’s time for commitment, you’ve already given yourself to so many that you almost lose your own self-worth. Because you didn’t value yourself enough to stay and wait until you are committed to somebody [as well as] make sure that people value you. … So, I just encourage everybody who’s watching and listening to make sure that you’re making life decisions with yourself and with your time. You’re not just doing what you’re doing for now, it’s for your life in whatever you do now. It’s not just affecting this week, it’s affecting the rest of your life.
