Rolling Out

5 things boyfriends wish they knew before they got married

The transition from boyfriend to husband can come with unexpected adjustments
boyfriends
Photo credit: Shutterstock.com / Prostock-studio-14

Marriage is a wonderful journey filled with love, companionship, and shared experiences. However, the transition from boyfriend to husband can come with unexpected adjustments. Here are five things many boyfriends often wish they knew before getting married, along with tips for navigating these changes.


1. Marriage requires constant communication and effort

Dating can sometimes feel effortless, filled with spontaneous dates and exciting new experiences. Marriage, however, requires consistent communication and effort to maintain a strong foundation. This involves openly discussing finances, household chores, and future goals and healthily navigating inevitable disagreements.


Boyfriends might underestimate the daily communication needed to ensure both partners feel heard and understood.

Here are some tips:

  • Schedule regular check-ins: Dedicate time each day or week to have uninterrupted conversations about your day, concerns, and goals.
  • Practice active listening: Pay close attention to your partner’s words and emotions, and avoid interrupting. Ask clarifying questions to demonstrate your understanding.
  • Express appreciation regularly: A simple “thank you” for taking out the trash or a compliment about their effort on a project goes a long way.
  • Plan date nights: Don’t let the spark fade! Schedule regular date nights, even simple outings like grabbing coffee or walking.

2. Your partner’s needs and desires evolve

People grow and change throughout their lives, and what your partner wants or needs during the dating stage might shift after marriage. Priorities and life goals can evolve; open communication is key to adapting.


Boyfriends might not anticipate how their partner’s desires for their personal life or career might change after marriage.

Here’s how to navigate this:

  • Embrace personal growth: Encourage your spouse to pursue their passions and interests. Celebrate their accomplishments and be their biggest supporter.
  • Revisit goals regularly: Life throws curveballs. Schedule regular conversations to discuss each other’s evolving goals and dreams and adjust your plans as needed.
  • Maintain open communication: Talk openly about your anxieties or concerns about your partner’s changing desires. Finding common ground and offering support is crucial.

3. In-laws become family (for better or worse)

Marriage extends your family to include your spouse’s loved ones. Boyfriends might not fully understand the dynamics or potential challenges of new in-laws.

Building a positive relationship with your spouse’s family takes time and effort.

Here are some suggestions:

  • Try to get to know them: Show genuine interest in their lives, hobbies, and traditions.
  • Respect boundaries: Discuss expectations for family involvement in your marriage with your partner beforehand. Communicate openly if any issues arise.
  • Focus on common ground: Look for shared interests or activities you can enjoy together as a family.
  • Present a united front: If you disagree with your in-laws, discuss them privately with your spouse and present a unified approach to resolving the issue.

4. Marriage isn’t always romantic comedies

Hollywood often portrays marriage as a constant state of bliss. While there’s certainly a place for romance, marriage also involves everyday routines, shared responsibilities, and navigating challenges together.

Boyfriends might have unrealistic expectations about the level of daily romance after marriage.

Here’s how to keep the flame alive:

  • Maintain physical intimacy: Don’t let busy schedules push intimacy aside. Schedule regular date nights, cuddle on the couch, or simply hold hands. Physical touch is an important part of maintaining a strong bond.
  • Express love in different ways: Love languages vary. Learn how your partner feels loved and appreciated, whether it’s through words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, or physical touch.
  • Find humor in everyday life: Laughter is a powerful tool for strengthening relationships. Don’t take yourselves too seriously, and find ways to laugh together through life’s ups and downs.

5. Date nights don’t end after marriage

While married life can get busy, prioritizing quality time together is essential. Dating your spouse allows you to reconnect, have fun, and nurture the romantic spark.

Boyfriends might underestimate the importance of maintaining a sense of romance and excitement within the marriage.

Here are some tips for keeping the date nights alive:

  • Get creative: Date nights don’t have to be expensive or extravagant. Plan activities you both enjoy, whether trying a new restaurant, hiking, or taking a pottery class together.
  • Put away distractions: During your date night, silence your phones and focus on connecting. Give your partner your undivided attention.
  • Plan getaways (big or small): An annual vacation is fantastic, but even a weekend staycation at a local hotel can rekindle the excitement and allow for quality time.
  • Keep the element of surprise alive: Plan a surprise picnic in the park, leave a love note hidden in their lunchbox, or surprise them with tickets to a concert they’d love.

Marriage is a beautiful journey of growth, shared experiences, and unwavering love. By understanding these common realizations and incorporating these tips, boyfriends can enter marriage with a more realistic perspective and the tools to build a strong and lasting partnership. Marriage is a team effort, and by working together, communicating openly, and prioritizing each other’s needs, couples can navigate the adjustments and create a fulfilling and happy life together.

Final thoughts

Marriage is a wonderful adventure, but going into it with your eyes wide open is important. By understanding that marriage requires consistent effort, open communication, and the ability to adapt, couples can build a strong and lasting foundation for their love story. Remember, cherish the little moments, nurture the romance, and support each other’s growth throughout your journey together.

This story was created using AI technology.

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