In bathroom cabinets, purses, nightstands, and desk drawers across America, women are stashing pain relief medications as standard equipment for daily life. This reality represents a widespread but rarely discussed phenomenon: women’s complicated relationship with pain and the medications they use to manage it.
For many women, carrying pain relievers has become as essential as carrying a wallet or phone. One influencer stores ibuprofen in her purse and bedside table, treating these medications as necessary tools to navigate through each day. Another woman, an architect and lifelong athlete, estimates she has consumed over 10,000 pain relief tablets throughout her athletic career to manage injuries and continue performing. A third woman, working in public relations, has become known among friends for her readiness to offer pain relief, often carrying an international assortment of painkillers from her travels.
These stories highlight a troubling pattern in how women approach pain—not as a signal to address underlying issues, but as an inconvenience to be quickly silenced so they can continue meeting personal and professional demands.
The evolutionary purpose we’re ignoring
Pain exists for a critical biological reason: it serves as the body’s warning system. This discomfort signals potential harm and prompts protective responses. Pain psychologist Rachel Zoffness explains that this sensation evolved as a mechanism to make us change our behavior to prevent injury.
However, the contemporary approach—particularly among women—often involves immediately medicating pain away rather than listening to what it might be communicating about our bodies. This quick-fix mentality can lead to overlooking important signals that require attention.
This tendency becomes especially problematic with chronic pain conditions that disproportionately affect women, such as:
- Migraines, which affect women three times more often than men
- Fibromyalgia, with nearly 90 percent of diagnoses occurring in women
- Chronic fatigue syndrome, which women experience at four times the rate of men
- Autoimmune disorders, with women comprising nearly 80 percent of those affected
- Irritable bowel syndrome, which women report at twice the rate of men
These conditions often create a troubling cycle: persistent pain leads to increased medication use, which may eventually become less effective while potentially causing additional health problems.
The culture of pushing through at any cost
The social context surrounding women’s pain management reveals a concerning narrative. In a society that prioritizes productivity above nearly everything else, women express guilt about taking necessary rest or addressing their pain properly.
Many women juggle multiple demanding roles—professionals, caretakers for children or elderly parents, household managers—making it particularly challenging to prioritize their own wellbeing. This pressure creates a pervasive expectation that women must embody strength by pushing through discomfort rather than addressing it.
The publicist with the international pain relief collection reflects that cultural messages instilled from childhood influenced her approach to pain. From an early age, many women learn that seeking quick fixes for pain represents a better solution than slowing down or asking for help—actions often perceived as weakness.
This narrative extends into fitness culture as well, where “no pain, no gain” mentalities can blur the crucial distinction between productive discomfort and harmful pain signals. The expectation that women should power through discomfort appears across various aspects of life, from menstrual pain in the workplace to childbirth and recovery.
The bias in medical treatment
The challenges women face in addressing pain extend beyond personal choices to systemic issues in healthcare. Research consistently demonstrates that healthcare providers often take women’s pain reports less seriously than men’s, leading to delays in diagnosis and treatment for serious conditions.
This bias becomes even more pronounced for women of color. Studies reveal that Black women particularly face significant undertreatment for pain, with some healthcare providers operating under false beliefs about biological differences in pain perception based on race. One notorious study found that some medical students and residents actually believed Black patients had thicker skin or less sensitive nerve endings than white patients.
The historical context surrounding women’s pain, especially regarding childbirth and menstruation, has contributed to long-standing stigmas. Many women describe frustrating experiences of having their pain dismissed by medical professionals, creating cycles of mistrust that prevent them from seeking necessary care.
This medical gaslighting leads many women to doubt their own experiences and further reinforces the tendency to self-medicate rather than advocate for appropriate treatment.
Rethinking our approach to discomfort
Health experts suggest a fundamental shift in how women approach pain management. Rather than immediately reaching for medication, they recommend first considering what might be causing the discomfort.
Zoffness emphasizes understanding pain as a complex interplay between physical and psychological factors. Stress and anxiety, for example, can significantly amplify pain sensations, making mental health care an essential component of comprehensive pain management.
Physical trainer Tonya Prather distinguishes between productive discomfort and harmful pain in fitness contexts. She advocates for women to develop comfort with certain types of challenge rather than pushing through acute pain that signals potential injury.
This nuanced understanding allows women to honor their bodies’ signals while still pursuing growth and achievement across various life domains.
Finding better balance with our bodies
As women navigate their relationship with pain, finding balance becomes crucial—managing discomfort appropriately while addressing underlying causes rather than simply masking symptoms.
This balanced approach may involve exploring holistic pain management strategies including:
Physical therapy, which addresses root mechanical issues rather than just symptoms
Mindfulness practices that help manage pain perception through neurological pathways
Open, assertive communication with healthcare providers about symptoms and concerns
Questioning cultural narratives that prioritize productivity over wellbeing
Advocating for research and treatment models that better address women’s experiences
By redefining societal expectations around pain and productivity, women can begin prioritizing their health more effectively. Acknowledging pain’s complexity and advocating for appropriate care empowers women to develop healthier relationships with their bodies.
Breaking the silence around women’s pain
Perhaps most importantly, bringing these conversations into the open helps break longstanding silence around women’s pain experiences. By sharing stories and challenging established norms, women create space for new approaches to wellbeing.
Ultimately, understanding the multifaceted nature of pain—including its biological purpose, psychological components, and cultural context—proves essential for women seeking effective health management. Through questioning established norms and advocating for their needs, women can reclaim agency in their pain management journeys.
This shift doesn’t mean avoiding all discomfort or medication. Rather, it encourages thoughtful consideration of pain signals and appropriate responses that honor both physical wellbeing and life’s demands. By fostering these open conversations, women pave the way for healthier approaches to pain for future generations.
The daily stash of painkillers might remain in many women’s purses, but with greater awareness comes the possibility of more nuanced relationships with pain—ones that respect the body’s signals while supporting women’s full participation in their lives and work.
