Story by DeWayne Rogers
Images by Kim Floyd for Steed Media Service
Rickey Smiley is a funny guy, a fact that the world has known for quite some time now. As the host of the “Rickey Smiley Morning Show,” this point is reinforced every single morning, as Smiley invades the radio waves with his trademark in-your-face brand of comedy. But the jokes, the impersonations, and the prank phone calls do not comprise the whole of this man. Yes, there’s another side of Smiley, a side that can be traced back to his humble beginnings in Birmingham, Ala. It’s a side that continues to fuel both his altruistic stance as a community leader, and his sincere love and devotion to his children. This was the side Smiley was eager to share with rolling out on a recent visit to his radio show. His answers revealed not only the true heart of Smiley, but also the path that guided him to become the man he is today. Here is Rickey Smiley uncut.
ro: Describe the role that men played in your development as a young boy.
Smiley: I had my grandfather, and I had two uncles that I really admired. My father was killed when I was 6 years old, and my granddad, Ernest Smiley, really stepped up to the plate and gave me everything with nothing. He was a good man.
ro: In what ways did they shape your views on fatherhood?
Smiley: My grandfather did a lot of talking. He would talk to me about everything from drugs, to how to act in public, to how to carry yourself — just all of the basics. And my pastor played a large role in my life, at my home church in Birmingham, Alabama. He taught me how to live, and how to treat people.
ro: How did they instill in you the qualities of being a great man?
Smiley: They did it by example. They didn’t really tell me a lot, but they showed me. I had an uncle in high school working a summer job just to help buy his nephew school clothes. That’s why I became the giving person that I am, because so much was given to me. And it is my duty, and my responsibility to give back to others. I’ve adopted kids who don’t have their biological fathers around, and have tried to give to them what they were missing. Because at some point in your life, your own spoiled brats that came from your body might not be there for you. But another child that you showed a little love to, because they didn’t have a father, might decide to take care of you because they appreciate what you did for them.
ro: Do you think that if you hadn’t had those strong father figures in your life that things would have turned out differently?
Smiley: Yes, because living in the environment that I was in, I was supposed to be either dead, in jail, or on drugs somewhere.
ro: Can you recall a time when you were about to do something, but you heard your grandfather’s voice telling you not to?
Smiley: Yes, any time dealing with drugs. I’ve never had a mixed drink in my life. I don’t know what a Long Island Iced Tea tastes like. I don’t know what a daiquiri tastes like. I don’t know what a margarita tastes like. I’ve never had a joint, never popped any pills. I’ve been drug and alcohol–free my whole life because of my grandfather. My granddad can sit and have a drink right now, but I won’t drink with him. I may have a glass of wine, but if he is over here, then I still won’t drink. Even now.
ro: How did you feel when you saw your first child?
Smiley: I was in love.
ro: How many children do you have?
Smiley: I have 3-slash-6, if anyone can read in between the lines. Like I said earlier, I mentor a lot of kids. Some of them might not even know that’s what I am to them, but your father is what your father does … so all in all, I have about 12 kids. All of them are my kids.
ro: What do you hope to instill in your children?
Smiley: To always be there for others. I want to teach my children that life ain’t about [them]. If you really want to fulfill your life, and fulfill your purpose, then it should always be about helping others. I also want them to live unselfishly. I have given everything to others. I have a frat brother that was murdered about a year and a half ago, and I am helping raise his two sons. I try to pick up where their father left off, and try to be there for them and a whole lot of other children.
ro: You have dedicated a lot of your time and energy to giving back to people in the community. What inspires you to be a community father?
Smiley: It’s all about helping people, and showing love. I understand that a lot of single mothers are in their cars … they’ve got to wake their kids up, bathe their kids, and feed their kids, with no help and limited resources. So when I speak into that microphone, my heart, and my soul is geared towards single women. That’s why I have Women’s Day every Thursday on the ‘Rickey Smiley Morning Show.’ I just want single mothers to feel special, because they are so awesome. I’m about to start reaching out to single fathers as well.
ro: What would you say to the fathers who are failing to live up to their responsibilities?
Smiley: You have to really watch how you treat children, because children [one day] turn into adults. The very one that you deny, don’t love, or don’t take care of might have to hand you a glass of water, or wipe your ass one day when you can’t wipe it yourself. So you really have to be careful of how you treat them. That’s why I encourage all men to step up and do the right thing. Nobody should be begging you to do it, because you’re supposed to do it. These children didn’t ask to come here. Just like breathing, being a good father should come naturally. If you have it, you just have it. If you don’t, then you need to learn how to do it. Because you’re going to end up missing out on grandchildren, and everything else that goes along with fatherhood. It really ticks me off when I hear children say that their dad didn’t really do anything for them, and now they’re asking for money, and trying to leech off of their kids. So I openly resent men that don’t take care of, or ignore their kids. Even if you can’t afford to pay child support, at least show them love, and your time. That costs nothing. Some of these single mothers just want a break.
ro: Is there anything we can do as a community to improve the current state of affairs?
Smiley: I think a lot of our counselors and the staffs at different churches need to get involved and keep our business out of family court. Even if a mother and father aren’t together, it would be good if they could resolve their issues with the child outside of the courtroom walls.
ro: What’s the best advice that you can give to your kids?
Smiley: Be a good father … and live life unselfishly. That’s the best advice that I can give them.
