Who is she (and what is she to you)?
Glady’s Knight and the Pips had it right when they asked that question on their hit track of the same name. While they were talking about philandering as it relates to sex and relationships, the basic search for understanding in the two-part question can make the difference between good and great sex. Once you know who your partner is, you must understand wholly what he or she is to you. Not a booty call. Not a partner. Not a girlfriend. Not a husband. A soul mate. A shooting star that collides and connects with you spiritually.
Just as a man and woman go to the altar for family and friends to witness their commitment to become joined for life, the same level of sacredness should be applied when you and your mate decide to consecrate your love. The act of making love should be no less revered, for it truly is a blessing to bare your soul and connect with another’s soul. There’s a level of trust and vulnerability that’s exchanged. It’s a divine act, where trust and vulnerability can yield surprisingly amazing results.
Stare Into Space
After you’ve found your soul mate, make good sex better by stargazing. Look into your partner’s eyes during sex. Look beyond the physical and stare into the inner recesses of your lover’s soul. What you will see there is a radiant extension of your partner and a mirror of your own spirit. What he or she is to you is how you see yourself. See the radiance and bask in the the glow. Speak without uttering words to this person who expands your being.
Staring into your partner’s eyes will increase the connection you share. And the outcome of your efforts — if done with righteousness and with tenderness — will be the sexual alchemy or sexual healing that Marvin Gaye crooned about many years ago.
–kim yokely and michelle williams
Kim Yokely (pictured above) is the owner of Kimochi Body N Sole Sanctuary in Atlanta (www.kimochibodynsole).