Your Aunt Lisa, Carlos, Bobby … even Deacon Mike from your grandmother’s church. They all said the same thing.
“She’s no good.”
And as much as you probably should have listened to them, something inside of you just wouldn’t let you believe it. So you stayed, and as fate would have it they were right. She was cheating on you.
That b*tch…
But were there warning signs that could have helped you avoid the sting of her infidelity? Of course there were. Let’s discuss a few with the following “Six Signs of a Cheater.”
1. She Just Doesn’t Care
Do you remember when you used to do lunch, hang out with mutual friends, and engage in all of the normal activities that couples do? Not anymore. In fact, it doesn’t even faze her if you have to cancel your dinner plans. Why doesn’t she care anymore? It’s simple. Someone else has taken your place. Red Lobster used to be “your spot,” but now someone else is feeding her those cheddar biscuits.
2. So Sensitive
You can’t even ask simple questions anymore without her overreacting and getting defensive. You can’t even ask things like, “Baby, when did you start going to the gym twice a day,” without getting major attitude from her, no real answer, and a lecture on the importance of trust in the relationship. You haven’t seen this much fight in someone since tried to convince your 62-year old Uncle Larry he was no longer a ladies’ man.
3. The Thrill is Gone
She used to be your sex kitten, never able to get enough of you. Now you don’t get that romantic attention anymore as she seems more interested in doing other “exciting” things like watching paint dry, cleaning out the lint trap in the dryer, or reading the liner notes of an old JJ Fad album.
4. Where Am I?
Does she ever wake up disoriented as if she’s unsure about where she is? When this happens, does she look more confused than the time I had to figure out how many kids Flavor Flav has? Well that’s probably because she is confused—which usually occurs when someone is constantly waking up in multiple beds.
5. What Future?
The two of you used to talk about how wonderful life would be as a married couple. She made you go ring shopping with her, and often lay awake dreaming of the day you’d have three little girls named Beyonce, Kelly and Michelle. Life was never better. Now she gets uncomfortable when you mention anything concerning your relationship’s future past going to the movies on Friday.
6. Top Secret
Your relationship used to be pretty open—that is until she became super secretive. This includes everything from no longer disclosing personal information, to locking up her belongings (you now need a passcode, fingerprint analysis, retina scan, her mother’s maiden name, voice recognition, urine sample, and an unopened Color Me Badd “I Wanna Sex You Up” maxi single just to access her blackberry.)
Honorable Mentions: A change in sleeping patterns (restlessness, exhaustion, nightmares), an increase in random gift giving (especially if she didn’t do it before), and constantly accusing you of cheating.
The Fly Guy Moral: A part of me feels bad for having to share these warning signs with you. After all, who really wants to think about their loved one being unfaithful? But I’d rather you hear it from me now, than to come home one day and catch your woman in the bed with somebody like Al B. Sure or even worse Bobby Brown.
Take it from me, broken hearts eventually heal; but the pain of catching your woman having sex with a washed up R&B star … well that lasts forever.
DeWayne Rogers is the author of The Fly Guy Chronicles; your in-depth guide to life, love and everything hazy in between.
