Guys ask me this question all the time: “How do you know if she’s the one?” Instead of that inquiry, the real question that I wish they would ask is, “How do I know if she’s not the one?” Taking that position instead of the latter makes it so much easier to approach dating. By doing so, you begin to weed out the women that don’t even deserve to be a part of the conversation. A helpful tool in that process is the following “Five Red Flag Remarks Women Make.” Read them. Understand them. Live by them.
1. “Oh you did? Well I …?”
A very telling red flag remark comes in the form of what I like to call “one-upmanship.” This is where your woman feels the need to follow up every joke, career achievement, or personal tragedy with her own story. It’s a clear-cut sign that she’s insecure, and may not be a keeper. Think about it; who wants to have the girlfriend that gets on everybody’s nerves because she won’t stop talking about herself? All of your friends think she’s a show off, and they probably liked it better when your only form of female companionship consisted of some soft music and the Cinemax channel.
2. “We don’t like that.”
At first you thought it was kind of cute, but your woman has made a nasty habit out of speaking for both of you. The funny thing is that it came out of nowhere. But before you knew it, you could no longer order a Big Mac from McDonald’s since “we don’t like the sauce.” That’s messed up. You love that sauce. And the fact that she’s trying to merge your thoughts and desires with hers makes this flag’s hue a tad bit deeper than red. This flag is maroon.
3. “Who was she?”
There’s nothing wrong with injecting a healthy dose of jealousy into your relationship. In fact, I encourage it. But I strongly caution against ignoring the early warning signs of an overly jealous woman. From listening to your phone conversations to openly questioning why the clerk from the cleaners knows that you prefer light over heavy starch, everything about her is screaming red flag. Don’t dismiss it as curiosity … in fact; she may be the fatal attraction you always dreaded falling for.
4. “I’m all you need.”
You can usually find this red flag in the back pocket of a woman who has no female friends. The flag may initially go undetected until she asks you to drop your friends too. Once this happens, pat her down. I’m sure you’ll discover the hidden red flag. Once you pull it out, leave while you can before she starts asking questions like, “You told your mom about your promotion before me? I thought you would tell me everything first.”
5. “I’ve been trying to reach you all day.”
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with staying in touch with your significant other throughout the day. But your lady … well, let’s just say she takes things to a disturbingly psychotic level whenever you become unavailable. Remember the time you put your phone on silent just so you could watch the Terrence Trent Darby “Behind the Music” special without being disturbed? And do you also remember the 13 missed calls, eight voicemail messages, and seven texts that were waiting for you once you reconnected with the outside world? Well, those missed calls and messages weren’t just a sign of her concern — they were a cleverly disguised package just begging to be opened. Do you know what was inside? A red flag.
The Fly Conclusion: Now that I’ve shared my Five Red Flag Remarks Women Make, it’s time for me to hear from you. Have you ever been guilty of any of those offenses? If so, what prompted your actions? Or did you even realize what was happening?
On the flip side, if you’ve ever dated a woman guilty of a red flag remark, how did you handle the situation? Did you quickly cut your losses, or did you stick around until things spiraled out of control? I want to hear from you. –dewayne rogers
DeWayne Rogers is the author of The Fly Guy Chronicles, your in-depth guide to love, relationships and everything hazy in between.
