So, you woke up this morning laying next to someone other than your significant other. Now, your first thoughts were probably somewhere along the lines of: “F@*K!!!! … What am I doing here??? And how did my underwear get stuck in the ceiling fan???” (Hey, it happens.)
Once you pulled them down and started getting dressed, the magnitude of the moment began to set in. You’ve just betrayed the love of your life, and are now faced with two choices. You could always take the “easy” way out, and carry your dirty secret to the grave. Or you could venture down the road less traveled — the one that leads to an admission of guilt.
As expected, I can already hear a loud contingent of readers who believe the latter choice is borderline lunacy. But before you haul me off in a straightjacket, hear me out. In my experience, there are four very compelling reasons to admit you cheated.
1. Paranoia will drive you crazy. The energy required to maintain a web of deception is rarely worth the gray hair and stress that it triggers. So why even bother? Why not confess now so you can sleep later?
2. Trust is the key to longevity. Trust and transparency are the key components when laying the foundation for a lifelong relationship. It’s impossible to build a successful relationship on a bed of lies … just ask any Bad Boy recording artist. If you really see this person in your future, then let the truth set you free.
3. Your partner deserves the truth. When you look into your partner’s eyes, you see a reflection of yourself – the loving, attentive and faithful person he or she believes you are. It’s going to be difficult to live with yourself when your loved one views you as a saint, and you know you’re really a sinner. Your partner has a right to know who you really are.
4. Your partner should hear it from you first. The only thing that’s worse than your confession is your partner hearing it from someone else. It just makes an already bad situation worse. Your significant other deserves a higher level of courtesy.
The Fly Conclusion: Let’s be very clear: I just laid out four compelling reasons to admit you cheated. But that confession doesn’t guarantee that you’ll be forgiven. Hey, that’s the risk you take when you decide to betray someone’s trust. Regardless of the decision, take comfort in the fact that you took ownership of your actions and accepted the punishment that came with it. That’s a sign of real growth.
**DeWayne Rogers is the author of The Fly Guy Chronicles, your in-depth guide to love, relationships and everything hazy in between.**
