There’s no doubt that there’s a place in our minds and room in our lives for new friends each day. The notion of embracing individuals and welcoming them in — even for those who come temporarily and attach themselves to material trappings as an anchor during the course of the relationship, bring value and for a time a sense of permanence.
In our lives we are sometimes unaware that permanance and friendships don’t always adapt to growth and change, and we are usually surprised by that development. We think that friendship is forever you see, but friendship is probably best seen and weighed with only the value that we ascribe to it — no more, no less.
Friends, as we eventually come to know them, can be as distant and as good a guide as bright and shining stars. And with the rising and setting of the sun, they sometime fade in the brilliance of the light.
We should examine our friendships as we claim them, and think of them separately from the word, taking each on a case-by-case basis and recognizing that some individuals enter our lives with egos in tow, bringing strife and discontent.
Jealousy, envy, and deception are all too common factors in the complicated relationship equation. Before you have a chance to realize it, you’ve shared with each other experiences of your respective lives and you begin to create moments and memories in doing so. You’ve shared tears, and your most heartfelt emotions that leave rivers of details in your individual and joined histories.
And then too soon, the friendship that we thought we had begins to disappear as rumors and mysteries fly through the air. People we trusted to know our secrets and the intimate details of our lives, carelessly or deliberately disregard that confidentiality and alter the friendship forever. And although the transformation of the relationship does not mean you’ve made an enemy, it may be the beginning of the closing of the friendship door.
Thankfully, there are those friends though who like the sun rise and greet you with rays of warmth as you begin and go about your day. They are the ones that we can look back together at the silly fashions we wore and the ridiculous hairstyles and laugh with you, not at you. They are the ones that the exchanging of memories is not a tell-all exposè, but fond and in-depth reminiscing to help us examine who we were — then and now.
We grow to accept their inadequacies as their support is undying and less ego based. In time we come dependent on the friend and the friendship, and we take comfort in knowing they are both rooted in a deep and fertile place where truth and honesty rule the day and even love comes into play.
Through thick and thin, good times and bad, the experiences aren’t looked upon as having been particularly sad, they are instead the fiber that binds with intestinal fortitude, to keep us trusting and opening those doors of friendship for another day.
So continue to grow and know that there are few permanent friends of the forever kind you see, because like fads and emotions they can change instantly. Some fade away into a dark wood, and some should if they are of little value and no good.
As you take the time to see a reflection of the friend that you’ve come to be, know that there’s a new friend just waiting for you to become part of them. So as you choose your friends today and as you redefine the word in every single way, don’t be surprised if one friend retires you each night and another inspires you in every way. For as long as you know you’re being a friend to yourself, trust in a higher power and grow a new friend every day.
Peace. –Munson Steed
