It’s an old adage that in research, there are lies, damned lies, and statistics.
The latest set of shocking statistics hail from the Pew Research Study that found marriage is at an all-time low, a drastic decline from 1960.
According to Pew, in 1960, 61 percent of African Americans were married; today that number is 31 percent.
What is happening here?
Truth be told, black love is not extinct, and healthy Black marriages are a reality for many, according to relationship expert Yolanda (Yanni) Brown, of MakingLoveBetterTwogether.com.
Brown is now entering her 20th year of helping couples.
“We are still getting married!,” she exclaims. “Media and statistics tell us that marriage is a bad thing but no one has asked the couples that are falling love daily or the couple who just celebrated 5 years, 25 years or even 50 years of marriage. What has changed, however, is that couples are more selective about when they are getting married. They are not in a hurry to get married right after college or during college. They are looking at their options and seeing what’s best for them.”
In the race of reality vs. perception, reality is on the ropes, says Lamar Tyler, co-founder of BlackandMarriedWithKids.com.
“More men aren’t getting married because they’ve been fooled into thinking that they’re losing something in the process,” Tyler tells rolling out. “What we need are the men who are happily married to share their stories about the benefits of marriage and what it has added to their lives. Men need to see other men who look like them and talk like them, talk about why marriage is a good thing before they buy into it. This is necessary because everything in society tells them otherwise.”
Divorce is a whopping reality all across the board, and couples must work hard together in order to enjoy lasting relationships, Brown adds.
“It’s easy to fall in love but sometimes, it’s challenging to stay there. Our microwave society tells us that if you don’t like something then change it or get rid of it. This has transitioned into our marriages. Marriage is being made a mockery of and the vows are being disrespected in the name of “I’ve changed my mind.”
Brown continues, “Couples have to marry for more than love. Love will not sustain a marriage but building a solid foundation based on friendship, commitment, communication, love and honor will help couples to weather the inevitable storms that marriage will endure.”
