We laugh and we joke and assume that people who evoke merriment and glee are by design happier than you and me. Their comical movements and amusing accounts, are either meant to inspire or distract us from the rising body count. Funny, as in dead funny isn’t quite the joke it seems to be, for it can stop you dead in your tracks on any given day.
Comedians are quite often depressed and despaired, so they use the laughter to mask the pain lurking there. Our community is besieged with a terrible disease, and we must fight to thwart that dismal suicide squeeze. For the tormented hordes who are unable to sleep, unable to eat and live on, their suffering subsides and ours heightens a bit when they’re gone. The stage is an outlet that helps to delay, the ultimate, and unfortunately, final getaway. Uncomfortable in their own skins, and unable to maintain that grin, they commit what many consider the ultimate sin.
Many take their lives and impact so many others, as they implement their demise and maybe cause another’s.
Don Cornelius and other men who have altered their destinies and taken their lives by their own hand, leave us grieving and wondering what was so impossible to live with and stand. We only need to look deeper inside and discover that which they worked so hard to hide, is the thing that broke them until they decided that it was with death that they preferred to reside. Some are able to stave off the desperation and find relief from the grief, while others succumb to joy’s thief, and the living wonder and stagger in disbelief.
The treasures these tragic figures leave behind, are wrapped and stored in memories of a time more kind. We sing the songs of Donny Hathaway in an ironically upbeat way, pushing into the recesses the remembrance of the day his body was found outside the Essex House in New York City. We will at some point stop and lower our heads and mutter, “What a pity.” And the others we know that choose to go — prematurely we say in our minds — must know a depth of depression that brings them to an unbearable low.
Famous people come and go, but we may quite possibly know someone who is teetering on the brink, as their lives unravel and their will to live ebbs and erodes until their spirits finally sink. It can start with a cry, a relationship gone awry, and unaware of their plight, we continue to pass them by. If you’re wondering why, look in the mirror and consider who you may have let die. It could be that we, at the onset of age, are mired in rage and sadly choose to completely disengage from the world which was once our personal stage.
But between lost loves, failed finances and the miseries that sometimes come our way, they don’t provide sufficient excuse to waver and go astray. There is help for the afflictions that seem to prevail, and a prescription to prevent the derailing. It doesn’t entail drowning your troubles in drink, but there may be life saving grace in seeing a shrink and finding your way to mend your mind and think.
Scores of African Americans deal with this dilemma every day, but they must have the courage to face the demon and find a reason to stay. From problems with addiction, or maybe an eviction, they recover and overcome these afflictions. Don’t ever underestimate the weight of the problems they face. Be careful and mindful of their personal quandary in any and every case. Your lack of concern may hinder their ability to discern what is worth living and dying for.
It easy to be confused by what’s in your head and the destructive thoughts that can keep depression fed. Watch for key indicators, like social withdrawal and self-medicating to avoid coming to terms with the course life is taking. All of our lives are at some point in need of mental maintenance and emotional repair, so find a quiet place to take a moment and spend it in prayer. Or take a walk in the park, breathe in fresh air and snatch yourself up from the throes of despair.
We’ll miss Don Cornelius, who lived so brilliantly among us, but his brainchild, “Soul Train” continues to sign his success. And we will remember Donny and Jimi Hendrix too, and the rappers and athletes we have bid adieu. And the list goes on, it is by no means a happy song but we will celebrate their contributions.
Remember those who have gone on, stay vigilant and strong. Don’t let your promise wane, or live your life in vain, for when the candle goes out and on the vine they die, we will be standing and wondering why.
Peace.
Munson Steed
