Of course, the following scenario has never happened to you, but humor me for a moment: Have you ever heard of a “friend” who tried to hold in their gas so hard, either during a meeting or in an elevator or in subway train system, that they felt like they were going to explode?
Well, now you may be able to “fart with confidence,” thanks to an innovation by some brilliant Brits.
Why? Becaause a British line of fart-filtering underwear is now doing big business, and it has the United States to thank for it.
Ever since the odor-neutralizing Shreddies passed through the Internet a few days ago, the company has experienced a 400 percent increase in orders overall, Shreddies estimated.
“Americans are making up the majority of our sales at the moment,” Shreddies spokeswoman Ianthe Betts-Clarke told The Huffington Post.
Makes sense to me in light of the processed American diet.
According to the makers, Shreddies weaves a carbon cloth called Zorflex into the rear panel of the underwear. Military servicemen use the same cloth on their gear to fight against chemical warfare. Betts-Clarke says it can squash the smell of “200 times the average flatulence emission.”
“Flatulence seriously affects millions of people every day and since 2008, Shreddies has been helping those affected increase their quality of life. We have found the answer to help alleviate the most obvious symptom of flatulence — the odors.”
In 2008, the Los Angeles Times reports, the company began to serve customers with digestive-tract woes but branched out. “It’s a product for everybody, because everyone farts,” Betts-Clarke said matter-of-factly.
Men’s boxer briefs are being sold for between $39 and $45, while women’s panties are between $31 to $34. Not word yet on the reason for the gender price disparity.
There is also the existence of a product called the Flat-D Flatulence Deodorizer is also on the market. It’s an activated charcoal cloth pad that tapes to the inside of briefs to mask the stink.
In other words: it’s now OK to let it rip, America.
