McGill: No, I don’t think that you are off base. But I do think that as times change, so too must our definition of the ideal family. In generations past, the nuclear family — with two parents in the household — was viewed as the only way to ensure a child’s success. But now that we have seen this spike in unwed mothers — both accidental, or by choice — we must adjust our views to deal with how this new black community views both marriage and family. The wrong approach would be to believe that all of our societal ills could be solved if everyone would just get married. Our thinking has to be more progressive than that.
Rogers: So it sounds like you’re telling me that all is lost as it pertains to the institution of marriage within the black community. Couldn’t I argue though, that there needs to be a re-emphasis on marriage among blacks? Studies have shown that children born to single mothers are more likely to not only live in low-income environments, but they’re also more likely to have behavioral issues in school. The two just seem to go hand in hand. With two active parents in the household, not only is the household income raised exponentially, but so too is the rate of that child’s success. This can’t be a coincidence.
McGill: I’m in no way saying that all is lost. But we can’t have a once size fits all approach to this problem. I am simply suggesting that we balance our ideal views on marriage and family with the realities that we are currently faced with. For unwed mothers and fathers, we have to rally around them and adopt an, “it takes a village mentality” to help offset the disadvantages that they are faced with. Personally speaking, I was brought into this world by an unwed black mother, and was fortunate enough to have my extended family rally around me to ensure my success. There are countless other stories just like mine, so I’m not willing to label these single parents and children as damaged goods. I sincerely believe that it is our duty to help them.
