Hear ye, hear ye. It is with great pleasure and fanfare that we introduce to you … the Queen of intellectual debauchery … the Maven of mental misgivings and Slayer of discontent … Mya Seals, otherwise known as the creator and curator of Myalogy. Peep her perspective on Candidate for Mayor of Chicago, Dr. Willie Wilson. It is her truth and hilarity at it’ finest.
The Pursuit of Mayoral-ness
I met Willie Wilson when he came by my job to do an interview. When he and his contingency arrived, I thought them to be a church group. Nothing, and I mean nothing, about them screamed politics. Did I say nothing? It wasn’t until I saw him on his way out and he asked if he had my vote, that I discovered he was running for Mayor. I told him I had to check out his platform and I would holla back.
Well, check him out I did. In the interview with our political editor. In the infamous Chicago Tribune questionnaire. On “Chicago Tonight.” On “Hardball.” And finally, kids … in the great mayoral debate of ’15. Sweet. Baby. Yeezus.
Let me just say, for those of you who may not be familiar with Wilson, his is an incredible story. Google “rags to riches” and you will see his face. This is a person who has truly picked himself up by his bootstraps. Like most of us, he wasn’t wearing a halo the entire time either. There are skirmishes, accusations, deaths, personal setbacks and still, he rose. Despite only having a seventh grade education, this man has ascended to heights that many of us can only aspire to. As he likes to remind us, he is two generations from slavery. His speech illustrates that — it can be challenging to understand him. However, being a great orator isn’t a requirement needed to lead this city — it was challenging to understand former Mayor Richard M. Daley at times. Wilson has created and run a number of successful companies, so somewhere along the way, someone knew exactly what he was talking about.
But this is what inspired my wrath today.
This is an actual tweet sent out by…somebody in his camp, after the first mayoral debate. I suppose they felt victorious. The much-vaunted “gotcha moment” had been achieved, I guess. It helps if you know how to spell your opponent’s name and understand subject-verb agreement if you are attempting to feel superior to someone.
He’s not ready to be mayor. And that’s fine. Many argued Barack Obama wasn’t ready to be president, but he was. Willie seemingly doesn’t care about being mayor and that … is not fine. His platform, or lack thereof, written responses, spoken responses, and those he’s chosen to surround himself with, tell me that. If I’m wrong and you do really want to be mayor, Willie, pick up what I’m about to lay down.
- Please understand that spell-checker is your friend. It’s everybody’s friend, trust me. Please don’t ever again send out another written response nor TWEET without hitting the ol’check. Share this info with your press person too, K?
- Get a one-way ticket out of Hollywood. Hendon. As in Rickey. That nickel slick stuff he does works on the west side. It won’t play all over the city. And those radio spots though …
- Stop talking about Meigs Field. It’s not “hot-button” as they say in politics. No one is sitting out on Northerly Island on a warm summer night thinking about how they wish they weren’t there, but that an airport that they never used still was … I promise.
- Hire some political consultants. Let Sister Mary’nem return to the Deaconess Board. There are goods to be baked and chicken to be fried and sold for the new roof fund. We saw you on stage election night with Bruce Rauner. He bought a campaign. Ask him for the homie’s number.
- Don’t come back until you do all of the above. You are the shiznit in so many ways. You could likely teach a class at Harvard School of Business. Hell, a Pursuit of Happyness type of movie could be made. It’s just that, politics, especially big city Chicago style politics, ain’t for you.
The unedited version of this article, the one with all the curse words and slick talk, can be found at http://www.myalogy.com.