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Patrice O’Neal’s fiancée Von Decarlo talks about her comedy, his legacy and finding herself

Image Credit: Marco Castaneda

Image Credit: Marco Castaneda

Comedian Von Decarlo wants to prove that pretty girls can be funny too.

“It takes the audience forever to even listen to you because they’re too busy looking at your clothes and your boobs and your a– before they actually start listening to you as a woman,” Decarlo told rolling out. “Pretty girls can be funny if you stop looking at my t–s. Listen to what I’m saying.”

But that feat is only one of the many set by Decarlo, who was engaged to the late Patrice O’Neal. After his untimely death in November 2011 — a month before their wedding — Decarlo was tasked with preserving the legacy of the late comedian.

With that, she’s released a comedy album, aptly titled The Lost Files, since they were literally lost until it was found by her manager, Jason Steinberg. “I listened to it, and I go like ‘OK, why didn’t he put this out?’ And he said, ‘honestly, he was just too lazy.’ And I said, ‘you know what? That makes sense.’ ” She also points out that he was likely very busy at the time as well — his first stand-up special for HBO, “One Night Stand,” had just been released around the same time that the previously unheard jokes were recorded.

Decarlo is also producing a documentary based on O’Neal’s career titled Better Than You. But while she estimates that it won’t be released until after this year, her latest book, Speak Fluent Man: The Top Things Women Should Consider Before Blaming The Man, which was released last year, provides a readily available look into the personal life and philosophies of the late comedian. The book is filled with allegories and analyses of how her life and outlook on love was influenced by her 10-year relationship with the often controversial and arguably misogynistic comedian.

Much like his comedy, truth and honestly stood at the core of their relationship, through the many stories she tells about their decade-long relationship. But one in particular stands out as she describes an instance that happened when they began dating.

He had a photo of his ex-girlfriend on his mirror but refused to take it down unless she could give him a reason that was not based on emotion. But she only wielded jealousy. Each time she went to over to his place, she would see it…until she didn’t. It was still there, but she forgot about it. Then, a few months later, he took it down. “It was more of a control freedom thing,” he said, according to Decarlo. “If I let you tell me what to do or take that picture down I would quietly resent you like you are controlling me and you would feel that power with other things. You will start telling me what to do, you will start telling me what to wear, you will feel that power and you will just start telling me what to do. It’s better if a man does something at his own time.”

The 41-year-old took that lesson and many more with her. But when Decarlo isn’t solely focusing on preserving the mark left on the world by O’Neal, she’s learning to focus on herself. “I don’t think I’ve ever mourned, because after like all these projects it’s all like he’s still alive in my life.”

With her 16-year-old daughter heading to college soon, Decarlo will be left with more time to focus on her career which includes comedy sketches with her musical improv group, Good Sketch Comedy and her one-woman show, Lasanga, which she hopes to take to Broadway.

The show, named after a title given to her by O’Neal to describe her stretch marks post-pregnancy, is comedy that touches on real issues such as plastic surgery addiction, body insecurities and dating. Decarlo uses her knack for storytelling with the addition of music and a hint of stand-up comedy for the show.

With Lasanga, DeCarlo hopes to inspire her audience to get the “courage to living your truth” — and to stop looking at her boobs.

Catch Von Decarlo in New York City on Saturday, Jan. 16 at the The PIT. Tickets can be found here. ( Fans can also catch Decarlo, who’s also called Coach Von dishing out advice on Centric TV’s According to Him + Her or calling sports plays on Twitter (@VonDecarlo.)

1 Comment

  1. guest on January 19, 2016 at 11:16 am

    Patrice O’Neal was so underrated. Many have stolen his jokes and comedic style. He was on the verge of blowing up had he lived a little longer.