Rolling Out

Are you dating or considering dating someone older?

Photo Credit: CREATISTA/Shutterstock
Photo Credit: CREATISTA/Shutterstock

Are you dating or considering dating someone older? In our day to day lives, you just never know where you may find true love. You may even find yourself attracted to, or very compatible with someone who is significantly older than you are. So, should you attempt to date the person and see what happens or miss out on an opportunity for the comfort of dating someone in your age range?

Some may even say that it is not a good idea, because it may cause a lot of conflict and others may say that you can learn from an older mate. So, if you do decide to date someone older, what should you do to make your relationship successful? Please find some helpful insight below.

Common ground. When there is a significant difference in age between you and your mate, you may find that a lot of the things you have in common with people your age, don’t necessarily apply to your new, older mate. For example, you may be on Facebook or Instagram all day, but your older mate may be watching CNN or reading the Wall Street Journal. However, if you can find some things that you both enjoy, this will help you develop a bond. Maybe you like the same types of music, or you both enjoy cooking, dancing, exercising or traveling. There is bound to be at least a few things that you both really enjoy, and spending time doing them may help make your relationship flourish.

Maturity does count. The most important part of dating someone older is being able to meet in the middle, in terms of maturity. If you find that you can relate to each other well because you have the same wavelength, then the number of years separating you should not be an issue.

Good sense of humor. Have a sense of humor about it. If you and your mate can laugh at the situation from time to time, it may help things to remain light and carefree. You can even joke about his/her gray hair, or about how you’re still wet behind the ears. Having a positive and carefree attitude about it can help to keep things light. In the beginning, try not to take it too seriously and if it takes off, you both know that you were meant to be together. It’s amazing how love can transcend so many boundaries and age is just one of them.

Avoid negative people. Dating someone significantly older can already be an uncomfortable situation, so the last thing that you want or need is to have negative people around you that are judging you for it. Avoiding negative energy/people (as a whole) can increase your happiness in life. You should also remember that age is just a number. Despite the fact that your partner may be 10, 15 or 20 years older than you, that doesn’t mean that you are not compatible.

Focus on your own strengths. The interesting thing about significant age gaps in relationships is that it can allow each person to bring their own unique skills to the relationship, which can help it to function even better. For example, the mate who is younger may bring youthfulness, energy and excitement, while the older mate may bring more wisdom, maturity, and financial resources. In the right circumstances, this can actually be very beneficial for both parties. After all, relationships involve each person giving something that benefits the other. So, if you and your mate can add value to the other’s life, then the generational difference is working out well for you! The uncertainty can be part of the fun of the relationship. It’s a risk, but then dating is and has always been a risk. So try to just have fun, enjoy the ride and see what happens. The more time you spend with your mate, the more you will be able to tell if he/she is right for you.

At the end of the day, let the haters hate. If you’ve met that special older someone who makes you happy and brings joy into both of your lives, all the slick and judgmental comments and the people making them can kick rocks. People who are older than you may not be able to offer you the exact same things as those in your age bracket; however, they may be able to bring even better things into your relationship. Try it; you just might like it.

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