Why are Black women so loyal to undeserving men?

Photo credit: Orange Line Media / Shutterstock.com
Photo credit: Orange Line Media / Shutterstock.com

Do men and women even know what they’re getting themselves into when they decide to have a relationship with a person who doesn’t have the same mindset as them? Some women may believe that they’re simply giving a brother a chance, but in reality, they may be setting themselves up for failure.

Commitment is one of those things that can’t be forced on a person no matter how hard you try, yet so many women take a backseat in their relationships with men that are sometimes unworthy and unprepared to love them the right way, leaving them damaged and with lost hope.   It makes you ask why exactly Black women are so loyal to undeserving men.

Here’s a thought. After watching the “Love & Hip Hop” reunion segment between Yandy Smith-Harris, Samantha and Erica, which aired on VH1 last month, the audience, viewers, and the rest of the world were stuck trying to piece together a timeline of the relationship between Mendeecees Harris and the mother of his three children. While it seemed like he was planning a life with each of these women at one point or another, he eventually found his way to a commitment and later marriage with his most current girlfriend, Yandy. The question that had all of America wondering is why did these beautiful, educated women still deal with him after they found out about one another and his infidelity?

Whether it was the promise of everlasting love, blinding sex, or misjudgment, one couldn’t help but wonder what was going on behind closed doors or why any of the women were compelled to stay with a man that was clearly undecided. The writing was clearly on the wall, but like so many of us, we miss the telltale warning signs that are staring us in the face. No one wanted to walk away and feel like someone else has won his love. It may sound immature, but people sometimes get caught up in their personal wants, and saving face is usually easier than facing reality.

The fact of the matter is that every woman has a different reason as to why they put up with the foolishness that they tolerate. What may seem like major character flaws to one woman may not be the same for the sister down the street. Each of us has a different level tolerance or a breaking point as to what straw would break the camel’s back and force us to leave a messy situation. Sometimes cheating isn’t t it, and some will even stay to try to prove a point about their relevance in that man’s life.

We’ve all heard stories about guys that have the gift of gab, and that know exactly what to say to get what they want from a woman. These type of men usually prey on women that hang on to their every word, leaving no room for argument, resulting in them winning in the end, and the women questioning what type of situation they’ve gotten themselves into with these men.

Once kids and families are involved, the risks become higher. What may have started out as in innocent situation has now developed into something bigger leaving everyone’s future in jeopardy. Unfortunately, this situation resulted in there being a major rift in the family due to lies and deceit that all of us have dealt with at some point or another in life.

Did you watch the love triangle unfold between Yandy, Erica, Samantha and Mendeecees? If so, can you relate or have you ever given a person a chance that you knew didn’t deserve you? Comment below and share your thoughts with us.

Follow Tamara on Instagram: @uniquely humble

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