I would say most people need to work on whatever things going on with themselves that stand in the way of being loving. To me, a relationship is like a gymnasium, where you practice loving, the verb, not the feeling. The feeling comes and goes. The verb, that’s the essence of commitment: Am I going to act in a loving way? I think our culture does not really speak much to the concept of loving as a verb. Our culture loves love as a feeling, and if you don’t feel it, then you don’t do it. I think that’s the difference between a happy, long-term, committed relationship – which is that you’re practicing love and you’re loving, or you’re doing what you feel. When people do what they feel, it’s limiting.
Who was your favorite couple and what was their hardest challenge?
Well, I can’t play favorites because that wouldn’t be responsible. But I definitely have at least a couple of couples that I’m like, we could probably go out and have a great time. I won’t say who they are. Maybe if you watch the show you can guess who they are, but I hope not. In some ways, from a professional standpoint, I love everyone equally on the show. I’m not judgmental. I don’t really judge what you have going on. I’m here to go ‘how do we get free?’ That’s what I’m here for. I’m totally here for each couple.
