7 lies people tell themselves about body shaming when they’re overweight

SCHEDULED FOR SUNDAY 9/22/24
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Photo credit: Shutterstock.com / Alina Troeva

Body shaming — particularly when it’s directed at individuals who are overweight — is a serious issue that affects mental health, self-esteem and overall well-being. However, the internal dialogue people have around body shaming can sometimes be misleading. Many people adopt certain false beliefs to cope with the shame, hurt and guilt they may feel about their bodies. While these lies may serve as a temporary shield, they often do more harm than good in the long run. It’s time to break down these barriers, face the truth and start on a path toward better self-love and care.


Body shaming doesn’t just come from outside sources — sometimes, the harshest critic lives within. In this article, we’ll explore seven common lies people tell themselves about body shaming and uncover how these falsehoods keep individuals stuck in negative cycles. Understanding these lies is the first step in combating their effects and moving toward a healthier mindset.


Lie #1: “It’s just harmless teasing.”

One of the biggest lies people tell themselves is that body shaming — especially when it’s done by close friends or family — is just playful teasing. Many believe that comments about their weight or appearance are not meant to be hurtful and that they shouldn’t take it seriously.

Reality: No form of body shaming is harmless. Even offhand comments can leave lasting scars on self-esteem and mental health. People may laugh it off in the moment, but internalizing these comments can lead to self-doubt, anxiety and even depression. Understanding that body shaming is never okay — regardless of the context — is crucial to breaking free from its damaging effects.


Lie #2: “I’m too sensitive.”

Many people who experience body shaming convince themselves that they’re overreacting. They downplay their feelings, telling themselves that they’re just being overly sensitive and that they should “toughen up.”

Reality: Acknowledging hurt feelings doesn’t mean you’re overly sensitive — it means you’re human. The emotional impact of body shaming is real, and dismissing those feelings can lead to even deeper issues like body dysmorphia or eating disorders. It’s essential to validate your emotions and recognize that feeling hurt by cruel comments is completely normal. Your feelings matter.

Lie #3: “They’re just trying to help.”

People often rationalize body shaming by thinking the comments are coming from a place of concern. They believe that those who comment on their weight or eating habits are just looking out for their health and well-being.

Reality: While health is important, body shaming is not a form of care or support. Comments that focus on someone’s size — rather than encouraging healthy behaviors in a positive way — only contribute to feelings of shame and inadequacy. Real support comes in the form of empathy, understanding and offering help in a non-judgmental manner.

Lie #4: “I need to be thin to be happy.”

This pervasive lie is deeply rooted in societal standards of beauty. Many overweight individuals convince themselves that their happiness is contingent upon reaching a specific size or weight.

Reality: Happiness is not directly tied to body size. While health and well-being are important, true happiness comes from self-acceptance, personal fulfillment and living a life that aligns with your values. Focusing solely on weight loss as a pathway to happiness can lead to unhealthy behaviors and a distorted sense of self-worth. Cultivating happiness from within is far more powerful than achieving any number on the scale.

Lie #5: “I deserve the criticism because I’m not doing enough to lose weight.”

A harmful belief many overweight individuals hold is that they deserve the negative comments or judgment because they’re not actively working to change their bodies.

Reality: Nobody deserves to be shamed for their appearance, regardless of their health or weight-loss efforts. Every person is on their own unique journey, and factors like genetics, metabolism and mental health can all influence weight. Criticism based on body size is not a reflection of someone’s worth or effort. Everyone deserves respect and dignity, no matter their size or health status.

Lie #6: “I’m not worthy of love until I lose weight.”

Another damaging lie that people tell themselves is that they’re unworthy of love and acceptance until they reach a certain weight or body type. This belief often stems from a culture that places thinness on a pedestal and equates it with desirability.

Reality: Your worth is not defined by your weight. Every individual is deserving of love, kindness and respect at any size. Waiting to love yourself or expecting others to love you only after you’ve lost weight is a toxic mindset that perpetuates feelings of inadequacy. Embracing self-love at all stages of life is essential to building meaningful relationships and fostering personal well-being.

Lie #7: “Body shaming will motivate me to lose weight.”

This is perhaps one of the most dangerous lies people believe. Some individuals convince themselves that the shame they feel from body-related comments will serve as motivation to change.

Reality: Shame is not a healthy motivator. In fact, body shaming often has the opposite effect, leading to emotional eating, decreased motivation and lower self-esteem. True motivation for change comes from a place of self-compassion and a desire to improve one’s health, not from a sense of inadequacy or worthlessness. If the goal is to live a healthier life, it must start with a foundation of self-respect and positive encouragement, not shame.

Body shaming has profound effects on individuals

Body shaming — whether internal or external — has profound effects on individuals, particularly those who are overweight. The lies we tell ourselves to cope with these painful experiences may offer temporary comfort but ultimately lead to greater emotional damage. Recognizing these false beliefs is the first step toward healing and fostering a healthier mindset around body image.

Overcoming body shaming starts with embracing the truth: your worth is not tied to your weight, and you deserve respect and kindness regardless of your size. By breaking free from these seven lies, you can begin to foster a sense of self-love, focus on your overall health and surround yourself with supportive people who uplift and encourage you. In the end, it’s about building a positive relationship with your body, rooted in care, respect and love, rather than shame.

This story was created using AI technology.

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