Beginning stages of relationships are tricky. You are still navigating your feelings or trying to determine if this person is a fit for you, but unfortunately, this is where most manipulation can begin. One form is love bombing, a type of psychological and emotional abuse that involves a person going above and beyond to manipulate you into a relationship. If you ever felt like this person is too good to be true or they seem too perfect, you are probably dealing with love bombing. Here are six signs you are being love bombed:
1. Your feelings will confuse you
The sheer volume of communication — constant texting, numerous phone conversations, social media engagement and a strong desire to meet in person — causes confusion. This barrage is intended to persuade you of the special connection you share with the abuser. You will begin to think that this is something unique, something positive, a romantic movie-style romance — a tornado of thrills, both thrilling and dangerous.
2. Too much flattery
Although flattery is a part of every romance, a love bomber takes it to a new level. They constantly sing your praise, literally almost every time you both communicate, which boosts your ego and draws you closer to the abuser. In reality, they are building you up so they can be the only ones to tear you down.
3. Too many gifts
Who doesn’t love gifts? But there is a point where it becomes excessive. The frequency of gifts will become annoyingly extreme, with presents not only being given every time you meet up but also sent to your home or workplace. The gifts are often more expensive and elaborate during this time. Huge bouquets of flowers, jewelry, even plane tickets or trips. This is just to reel you in even more.
4. They put you in ‘The Iso’
A love bomber’s favorite play is the iso. For non-basketball fans, this is when a player decides to take you one on one so that it’s easier to score. This is the exact same method a love bomber will use. They will get you away from family and friends to increase their control over you. They will forbid you from doing certain activities or hanging out with certain friends, or in more subtle cases they will become passive-aggressive, irritated or sad when you want to do something without them.
5. They learn everything about you, and you know nothing about them
A love bomber excels at learning everything about you while keeping all their secrets hidden. They are often great listeners at first, so much so you feel like nobody has ever heard you the way they do. In reality, they are just building their database on you, so they know all your triggers. You confide in them so much that you forget communication is a two-way street and don’t even realize you barely know the person.
6. They are emotionally inconsistent
If you get to this point, you are probably deep in the love bomber’s grasp and probably deep into the relationship as well. This method is brought out once you are locked in with this person and they begin to show more of their true character. At first there was once only adoration, compliments and kindness, and now there is irritation, anger, coldness and scorn among other things. To make things worse, they bounce back and forth between hot and cold, leaving you to not even know why your partner is moving like this. If you start to notice this, especially if you’ve experienced any of the five signs above, RUN.
End the relationship as soon as you can, because the rollercoaster is about to get even worse.
