Jackie Christie was a real basketball wife before the term was a brand. Christie made national headlines when she went after Rick Fox — with her purse —because Fox dissed her husband, former NBA All-Star Doug Christie.
Today, Christie is showing rolling out her softer, more sensual side, as she shares intimacy tips from her latest book, Sexual Relations: A His and Hers Guide to Greater Intimacy. Let’s get down to the nitty gritty, shall we?
How can a man be romantic if he’s on a budget or struggling financially?
I think in this day and age everybody should hold their own. If the woman is bringing her 50 percent and if the guy is in a relationship, maybe he’s having a hard time, if he doesn’t have money to take you out to a nice dinner, maybe you can go to the park; or take a walk, or you can go and pick flowers.
There are so many different ways to have a romantic, good time. Go over to each other’s house and watch movies where there’s no money involved.
I know there are a lot of women who feel like the guy should be in the position to take care of them, but I’m one of those women who feels like I can take care of myself and I like to bring something to the relationship, versus taking something away.
Should women demand more from men, in terms of intimacy?
Women are shy and society puts it as the guy is the leader and he should be the one that initiates everything. If a woman does anything, society makes her feel that it’s lowering her or that she’s slutty.
It’s not really that at all, and a lot of women feel intimidated and they don’t know how to speak to their mate. Look your intimate partner in the eye and tell him what you’re looking for, and what you want in a relationship.
I hope my new book will help women to open up more, and to see that by sharing with guys, they are really available and ready to let you take control.
What is your best advice for achieving intimacy when both partners are extremely busy?
You make time, it doesn’t have to be a time frame, and you don’t have to spend 45 minutes, doing the whole romance and foreplay [routine].
Intimacy comes from conversation. Intimacy is a mental thing, it’s a physical thing, you could be making breakfast in the morning, and he could come and whisper in your ear, that you look so wonderful today. Intimacy comes at all times, every day and everywhere.
Glance into his eyes, when there’s a room full of people but you really only see and feel each other, that vibe is there.
Intimacy is something you make time for.
Does size really matter?
I really don’t think size really matters … I haven’t been with a lot of guys, but, guys vary in sizes and it’s all about the man. If you’re really into the guy, [size] really doesn’t matter.
For me, where are you mentally? Are you on the same page? Do you vibe with each other? There are other ways [to feel] pleasure; he doesn’t have to feel less of a man because he may be on a smaller scale. Or, he doesn’t have to feel more of a man because he’s on a larger scale. A variety is always good.
Does “variety” include toys in the bedroom? Or are men afraid of that?
I don’t think that men are fearful of toys in the bedroom, but it depends on the guy, of course. I definitely think that toys are something that enhance a relationship. If couples are so inclined, they should definitely experiment and keep it fresh and fun.
How does a woman maintain her sex appeal?
My best advice is to believe in yourself, achieve your goals and remain confident.
When you get out into the limelight, if you’re a female married to an athlete — or any celebrity for that matter — and you’re in the media, people are going to scrutinize you and you can really lose yourself in the midst of all that.
Remember who you are and what you stand for, and keep striving to reach your goals; I think that’s extremely sexy, my husband finds it the best.
I could easily sit down and put my feet up and enjoy spa treatments every day and really not have any type of goals set for myself, but I always remain a high achiever. I always supported him first, and I was willing to put my career on the back burner.
Now I’m stepping out into the limelight and that’s extremely sexy, so I [encourage] women, not to lose yourselves, always remember who you are and what you want in life, and if you are with a partner, and if their schedule and their life is demanding, go ahead and support him first and foremost, if you’re able to sacrifice that.
If not, and both of you need to bring something to the table in order to pay the bills, then go ahead and do that; I think that’s really sexy and beautiful when a woman can hold her own.
“Basketball Wives: LA” star Jackie Christie is currently filming VH1’s new reality series which premieres on Monday, Aug. 29 (check your local listings).