If I were a boy, I’d JUST ADD WATER!
So many of us are afraid of water. But this month, Dolls, we are going to learn to swim! Or at least allow our hair to get wet! Hue ready? Let’s dive right in!
Beyoncé sang, “If I were a boy…” Well, if I were a boy, I’d wake up everyday, go out to play, and when it came to my hair, I’d JUST ADD WATER. If I were a boy, I’d own a simple comb, free my mind and clear my bathroom drawers of rakes, picks, brushes and wicks. If I were a boy, I’d own plenty of toys, but five different blow-dryers would not be part of my collection. If I were a boy, I wouldn’t expect for my hair to grow if I starved it of water, yanked on it every day with gardening tools and groomed it with a heat torch. When it came to my hair, if I were a boy, I’d comb, roam and have the luxurious option of frequently cutting lots of new growth! Dolls, ever notice how boys’ hair grows so quickly? The other day, I was talking to my Ken Doll and he said, “I gotta go get a hair-cut”. “Again?” I asked. “You just got a haircut!” That afternoon, I told the same story to a dollfriend and she said, “Girl, if I’m not dropping my boy off at school or a game; I’m at the barbershop.”
Dolls, why do hue think that is? Hold on, before hue answer that rhetorical question. Boys’ hair grows so quickly because they don’t alter its natural state, thereby allowing it to grow. More importantly, they don’t forget to JUST ADD WATER. And it’s not just a boy thing. Ever wonder why it seems everyone’s hair grows quicker than black girls? It’s because we don’t wash our hair as often. Period. The END! Ssssshhh. Like most women, whether you’re Asian or of another persuasion, daily, we put our tresses to the test with heating utensils. But unlike most women, we don’t moisturize it daily or regularly with water. Instead, we go for weeks NOT ADDING WATER. And that, my doll friends, is why our hair doesn’t grow as quickly as others. Think of it this way: if you burn grass daily, never putting in place a moisturizing regimen of water, only covering it with fertilizer (hair oils), guess what you’re going to get? A slick dessert. Thinking I’m koo-koo? Think of it this way: if you water a forest daily, sometimes multiple times a day, what do you get? A rainforest. Ever see a rainforest? It’s lush with life and vegetation. That’s because it gets lots of moisture (plain old water).
One summer, when I was about thirteen, I took to swimming daily. My mother made me commit to washing and moisturizing my hair after each swim. Each day, I would wash condition and let it dry naturally. Once a week, I would deep-condition under a heating cap. My hair grew more than it ever had in my entire young lifetime. It was then that I learned at a very early age to JUST ADD WATER.
Black girls seem to have the hardest time growing their hair. And yet, we are the largest consumers of hair products. From shampoos and conditioners, tools and extensions to 500 degree dial Gold-N-Hots (What’s that smell? You’re burnt hair!), we buy so much stuff for our hair that it’s like the spoiled child of a millionaire. And just like the spoiled child of a millionaire, it’s slow to show its appreciation towards our generosity.
I’m going to let hue in on a little secret “they” don’t want hue to know. Getting our hair to grow isn’t hard to do. All we need to do is JUST ADD WATER.
“…the Earth is a watery place… About 70 percent of the Earth’s surface is water-covered…Water exists in the oceans, air as water vapor, in rivers, and lakes, in icecaps and glaciers, in the ground as soil moisture and in aquifers, and even in you [60 percent water] and your dog.” – The U.S. Geological Surveys Water Science School
“The human body is more than 60 percent water. Blood is 92 percent water, the brain and muscles are 75 percent water, and bones are about 22 percent water. A human can survive for a month or more without eating food, but only a week or so without drinking water.” – waterinfo.org
This stuff isn’t rocket science. Water is a life source. My hair grows the most when I’m not using heat utensils daily, act like a boy and not fuss over it and hue guessed it, JUST ADD WATER. Somewhere along the way, black women were told that water dries out our hair. Not true. Water does not dry out our hair. Not adding water is what dries out our hair. Our hair is like the earth; it needs water for life. Mother earth and everything on it needs water to grow. Embryos grow in water and so does hair follicle. Without water there would be no life – just the sun and all its blazing heat. Heat without water equals death. Going too long without water equals dehydration. And yet, when it comes to our hair, we act like scientists trying to figure out the scientific formula to get it to grow.
Beyonce sang, “Pat your weave…” Well, patting your weave is one of my pet peeves! Seeing a Doll walking down the road of life patting that itch in her scalp makes me want to cringe and hand out pamphlets about why shampooing will make your hair grow and end that itch! Dolls, stop with the business of patting your weave and JUST ADD WATER!
I love playing with Black Dolls; they’re b’huetiful!
XoXo
Dana Mama Doll Hill
