Suicidal: Life with Hugh Hefner miserable for former Playboy Bunny

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Life in the Playboy Mansion for Holly Madison, 35, was no crystal stair. She shares her triumphs and trials in her memoir, Down The Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures And Cautionary Tales Of A Former Playboy Bunny, due in stores on June 23. She starred for five years in E! reality series, “The Girls Next Door,” where she was Hefner’s number one among fellow bunnies: Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson.

The Amazon description reads: “A spontaneous decision at age twenty-one transformed small-town Oregon girl Holly Sue Cullen into Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner’s #1 girlfriend….what seemed like a fairytale life inside the Playboy Mansion—including A-list celebrity parties and her own #1-rated television show for four years—quickly devolved into an oppressive routine of strict rules, manipulation, and battles with ambitious, backstabbing bunnies.


With great courage, Holly shares the details of her subsequent troubled relationship, landing her own successful television series and the hard work of healing, including her turn on ‘Dancing with the Stars.'”

According to a press release from publisher HarperCollins, “Life inside the notorious Mansion wasn’t a dream at all and quickly became her nightmare.


After losing her identity, her sense of self-worth and her hope for the future, Holly found herself sitting alone in a bathtub contemplating suicide.”

The book also reveals the “oppressive routine of strict rules, manipulation and [her] battles with ambitious, backstabbing bunnies.”

Madison is now married and has a 2-year-old daughter, Rainbow.

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