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They had you at hello

Photo credit: Volt Collection / Shutterstock

Photo credit: Volt Collection / Shutterstock

Today, I want to speak about a trend that I see in a lot of women, especially those who are “nesters” and feel incomplete without a man. I am talking about women who entertain the advances of every single man who shows them the slightest bit of attention. Even if they are not attracted to the men, even if the men have totally different career goals than them, and even if red flags are waving all over the place that they should run in the opposite direction.

A lot of women do not find their soul mates because their lives are too crowded with poor candidates, sucking up time and oxygen. They waste valuable and lengthy periods on foolishness and attempting to make sense out of confusion. They can sense that a man just wants sex but convince themselves that if they give it up, the man will want a commitment. They sense that a man is dating several different women, and accept it when the men say that they need time to decide what they want to do. They sense when there is nothing compatible but believe that a man is a man is a man.

Sometimes it is because they have friends or relatives that “hook them up” and they don’t want to question the other person’s matchmaking skills. Sometimes it is because they are sick of sitting at home alone at night and on the weekends, instead of going out and finding joy in their own company. Sometimes that biological clock is roaring in their ears and they desire a family before it is too late. There are various reasons, but continuing to cloud the issue will not clear it up.

So for those of you out there waiting for your “Boaz,” stop dating “bozos” along the way. Don’t worry about what others say if you are single for a while. In fact, stop telling negative people your business in the first place. It is truly none of their concern unless you allow it. Some of your friends who are married probably wish that they were single. Many are dealing with chaos and madness behind closed doors, all in the name of putting on pretenses.

Just because someone expresses an interest in you — no matter the ultimate basis for that interest — it doesn’t mean that you have to spend time with them. You can be flattered by it, thank them for it, but take a pass if you already know that it is not a good fit for you. Have you ever hooked up with someone that you recognized was a wrong fit, simply because you had nothing else to do?