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Rearranging deck chairs; just let go and move on

black couple fight

Photo credit: wavebreakmedia /

This past weekend, I was awakened at 3:30 a.m. by a couple arguing out in the middle of the street. There were a lot of expletives tossed back and forth between the two of them in about three or four rounds over a half-hour period. The gist of it was that she was demanding that he leave her alone and he was refusing to do so, all the while calling her out of her name. I looked out the window to see if I could spot them but I could only hear them. My first instinct was that he might become violent and I needed to alert the police. Since I did not see them, I eventually let it go but it was still weighing heavily on my mind.

Too many people continue to try to make toxic relationships work. These two people obviously did not belong together and it had nothing to do with them making a “cute couple” or not. I never saw them so that part was irrelevant. What is relevant is that someone could have gotten arrested, maimed, killed, or any combination of the three. It would not have been worth it if one or both of them lost their jobs or their freedom all because they could not let it go.

For the past two decades, I have witnessed this over and over. The story has not changed. People try to rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic when the ship is going to sink either way. They will waste years trying to fix something that cannot be fixed. They will wallow in animosity and borderline hate for another person. They will allow the relationship to drain them emotionally, and oftentimes financially, as well. They will find themselves isolated from friends and relatives who simply cannot tolerate the nonsense anymore. They will definitely block their blessings by absorbing so much negative energy into their personal space.

If you know that you are currently in a toxic situation, make today — no later than tomorrow — that day when you decide enough is enough. Put the same effort into saving yourself as you would if someone else you love was in the exact same situation. Take the advice that you would give them. Don’t waste valuable time on a bad relationship and wake up ten years from now wishing you had hit the reset button when you had the chance to still find love someplace else.

1 Comment

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