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Well, at least I’m getting out of the house

black couple

Photo credit: Uber Images / Shutterstock.com

Dating can be quite expensive these days. Forty dollars for a movie, including concessions. One hundred dollars or more for dinner, including drinks. Tack on gas, valet or garage parking, and getting prepared with visits to the barber or hair salon, or a new outfit, and one date can add up to a decent utility bill for the month. Regardless of who is paying, or even if the bill is being split, a trend has developed where people go out on dates just to get out of the house. They have zero interest in the other person but see it as an alternative to sitting up in the house watching TV, web surfing, or drinking their loneliness away.

There is nothing wrong with it if both parties are on the same page. That would be considered “hanging out with a friend” of the opposite sex. However, if one person has an obvious romantic interest in the other person, drama can rear its ugly head at some point. I have seen this over and over. A man has interest in a woman. He wines and dines her for months, takes her to see every movie she wishes, and he is a true gentleman who never makes any sexual passes. She gives him a friendly hug at the beginning and the end of the date like clockwork. She knows that there is no chemistry but he thinks it is about to be on and popping at any moment. False hope and manipulation. Once she moves on and finds another man to do the same, or she finds a man she does want to pursue a relationship with because there are fireworks going off in her vagina, he is left wondering what happened. He has to wonder why the texts and phone calls have ceased, or, if she does still communicate with him, why she is always busy and/or has prior commitments.

The same can occur with the roles switched. A man can lead a woman to believe that he is interested so that she will spend money on him. He probably won’t go dutch because he could just go out with himself, spend the same amount of money, and pick up a one-night stand at a bar. Men tend to do it because they want a free meal, movie, or drinks. Some women don’t mind paying the bills for a date because they are lonely and desperate. They get in their feelings and think that a title, commitment, or marriage is down the road. But none of that is even a possibility.

My whole thing is: why play games? Just be honest and ask someone if they want to hang out as friends. We can have friends and associates of the opposite sex without leading someone to believe that romance is within reach. There are people who are nice, intellectually stimulating and fun to be around that you may not feel any chemistry with. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy each other’s company. Just keep it real and who knows, you may meet your soul mate through your friend, or while you are hanging out with your friend.



2 Comments

  1. pen on December 23, 2015 at 10:32 pm

    i always say men and women cannot be friend unless they grew up in the same neighborhood then maybe men think sex even if she ugly he will let her feed him and sex her good or not and neva see her again ruining any chance of friendship, it sound easy but anything but … men dont like to deal wit women they are not into . sex dont count its on the level of bj nothing to discuss

  2. Joy on December 25, 2015 at 12:15 am

    This is me all the way, only thing is every time I try to leave, he act up, or get me what I want! I tell him all the time if u not ready let go, We can hang out out sometime, but with get a real bf don’t get mad at me!!! Crazy World!!!