Pregnant by one man but intimately involved with another

Pregnant woman
Photo credit: Monkey Business Images / Shutterstock.com

Over the years, this topic has come up over and over in my advice emails. If a woman is pregnant by one man but intimately involved with another, the majority of people think she is a THOT, whore, and way too promiscuous. Now there may be certain instances where that might be the case, such as women who sleep with numerous men at once due to underlying issues. However, if a woman was dating one man and things did not work out, even if she is pregnant by him, does that mean she is not allowed to date and have sex with another man who may enter the fold and truly care about her? A man who wants to be there for her and the baby?

The idea that she is supposed to place her life on hold is definitely an interesting debate. The man who impregnated her is free to go on with his life and have sex with whomever he likes. Many times he is already sexually involved, committed or married to another woman when he gets the second woman pregnant. I guess the argument is that since she has the child inside of her, it is inappropriate to allow another man to enter her vagina, and ten times worse if he ejaculates inside of her. There is no medical study or proof that another man’s semen can cause any harm to the child. There is always a chance of spreading diseases but pregnant women are generally more under a doctor’s care than regular women. They are going to more visits to their OB/GYN, being regularly tested for everything under the sun, and are more health-conscious than normal. They cut out bad habits like smoking, drinking carbonated drinks, and smoking marijuana. But if they are living their lives, like the men who impregnated them, it is considered akin to committing a crime by some. I find that to be utterly ridiculous.


At the end of the day, people have too much to say about the bedroom activity and habits of other people. That is none of their business. It is not up to them to pass judgment and if another man is willing to step up to the plate when the real father has decided to ignore or neglect the woman and child, she is entitled to that happiness. Even if the father intends to be in the picture, no one is trying to tell him that he cannot have sex with other women while one is carrying his child. A lot of men father children that are born within weeks or months of one another, so obviously they were bed-hopping.

What are your thoughts? Do you believe pregnant women should not have sex with other men? Why?


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