I’ve always considered myself to be a role model. As the oldest of seven children, with three being younger sisters, I didn’t have much of a choice about that. Many people talk about how celebrities should do a better job of setting examples for the next generation. I’ve never felt that it was their role or responsibility. Don’t get me wrong, I had and still have my fair share of people in that arena who serve as an inspiration for me.
However, I’ve never really expected those people to be more of a role model than the women who were physically in my life. I looked up to different women around me for different reasons. My mom is super creative, I always wanted to get that from her. I have an aunt that manages to stay calm in nearly every situation, and another who is always there when you need her, I aimed to mirror those characteristics from them.
As an older sister, I always wanted to lead by positive example. This doesn’t mean that I always did what was right, but I tried darn hard to get it right for their sake. I showed them that regardless of where we came from, or what we didn’t have, we could overcome those obstacles and be successful. I’m not where I want to be in life yet, but I’m definitely on my way there.
Now that I’m a mother, I aim to do an even better job of setting the best example possible for my daughter. I want her to grow up to be better than me. There’s a lot of talk these days about #BlackGirlMagic and we often praise the Taraji Hensons, Kerry Washingtons and the Beyoncés of the world for displaying Black Girl Magic and being an example for little girls. We need to look a little closer at ourselves, and the roles we play as mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins and so on.
I have to be the first source of inspiration for my daughter, and not expect pop culture to be that. At four years old, she already looks up to me as someone who she admires. She walks around the house in my shoes, paints her face with my makeup, and mimics a lot of my personality. My daughter is everything I could ever ask for in a child, intelligent, witty, inquisitive and very confident. She has characteristics that it took me nearly 20 years to let shine through. She is my #BlackGirlMagic in the making.
I don’t want her to be like me, I need her to be better. In order to do that, I have to be someone who I would be proud of her growing up to become. I’m not the parent will wait for my child to make me proud, I’m the one who aims to make her proud of me first. I want her to know that mommy is an amazing woman who works hard for everything we have, and will continue to do so.
As women, especially Black women, we have to raise our daughters to be stronger than we’ve ever been. The world isn’t the same as it was when we were coming up. Although it seems like they have more opportunities, they’ll have to work harder to prove themselves. We laid a lot of the groundwork, and set a standard that they now how to meet and exceed. Our first lady is a Black woman, first daughters, two Black girls, and many of our women have accomplished things that were unheard of when we were children.
#BlackGirlMagic starts at home, and we owe it to our daughters to make sure they see that first example of a strong Black woman within us.
