Photo credit: XiXinXing /

Photo credit: XiXinXing /

What defines a strong and healthy relationship to you and your mate? As you are aware, relationships don’t blossom overnight, but instead require time and effort by both parties. In order to see the fruits of your labor in developing a strong, successful relationship, you have to be willing to put in the work. Below, you will find some habits that will help you develop and maintain a strong and healthy relationship.

  1. Respect. If you really care about your mate, please be respectful of his/her time, space, heart, character and trust. So, don’t threaten to leave the relationship, bash him/her or talk negatively about each other to your family or friends.
  2. Communication. Communication is very important in a relationship and when there is no communication in your relationship, there can be problems, for example: insecurities, loss of faith, emotional dissatisfaction which can lead to the loss of interest in your relationship. When each one knows how the other person thinks and feels about certain things, there is more openness and freedom in the relationship, making it easier to maintain it.
  3. Spending Time Apart. Spending time with your mate is very important, but so is spending time apart. Spending time apart gives each mate time to be themselves and to be secure within their own identity. Spending too much time together can create an unhealthy, codependent relationship. Make some time to miss each other and then you’ll be much more grateful with the time that you spend together.
  4. Spending Quality Time Together. Spending quality time together helps to keep your relationship alive. It also gives you an opportunity to listen to each other’s concerns, not to mention, that you both feel happy when you can spend time with the person that you care for.
  5. Showing Appreciation. Appreciation is as important as trust and respect in a relationship. Relationships tend to develop problems when one of the partners doesn’t feel appreciated. The longer that person feels unappreciated, the more likely it is that they may come to resent being taken for granted, so show your mate that you love him/her with flowers, a card, dinner or any acts of kindness. This will eliminate a lot of problems that can happen when you don’t.
  6. Choose Your Battles Wisely. Arguments are bound to happen in any relationship and it is crucial to bring issues to the forefront and work through them with your mate. However, be sure to not make a habit of bringing up petty issues. So, choose your battles wisely by only addressing important issues and focus on just one problem at a time. You’ll find that it’s much easier to communicate and reach a happy resolution that way.
  7. Stop Comparing Your Relationship. Why are you wasting your time and energy obsessing over someone else’s relationship? The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. You should either work on fixing your issues or, if you need to, move on.  At the end of the day, your own happiness is the important thing and only you can be the true judge of that. So be happy with the view at your own front door.
  8. Sex.  I saved the best for last. Sex is very important in cultivating a flourishing relationship and the equation is very simple. The more you have it, the more you want it or just the opposite; the less you have it, the less you want it and the down side of less is that – you’ll feel less connected to your mate. So, keep your sex life alive and full of fire.

It is very important to incorporate these traits into your everyday relationship for a healthy and strong connection. Be sure to make your mate a priority, as it is an investment that always pays back by increased happiness, love and well-being in your relationship.

Myra C. Harris

The author of How to Get a Man: From the Kitchen, to the Bedroom, to the Ring, which can be purchased at