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Before you get back with your ex, read this

If you and your partner split because you rushed things and didn’t know each other as well as you thought you did before you made yourself an item, then there might be hope. Asking (and honestly answering) the following questions is the key to determining whether you should reignite that old flame:

1. Did the issues that cause the initial breakup ever get resolved?

2. What have you learned about yourself, and how have you grown since your

3. How willing is your partner to take an honest look at themselves and work on
things on their end?

4. How willing are you to take an honest look at yourself and work on things on your

5. Why do you want them back instead of moving on?

If you can’t answer these questions with positive responses, then consider this a sign. Loneliness alone is not a good enough reason to retreat into your past. Neither is familiarity.

If your ex can offer a partnership in which you can both thrive, grow, support and add value for one another, then the relationship is worth fighting for. If you are afraid of being alone, that is not a healthy reason to go back. Without change, there can be no growth.

If you keep walking backward, you can never move forward.


For more great tips, advice and answers to life’s burning questions by Monica Bey, go to, and be sure to check out her weekly Ask Monica segment on Wednesday at 2 p.m. (EST) on rolling out’s Facebook page.

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