Here are my tips to reduce the stress of co-parenting:
- Communicate – Communication is the basic fundamental for any partnership. Clarify, don’t assume, and make no assumptions. Verbalize specifically what your intent may be. A conversation shouldn’t turn into a disagreement. As you already know, with animosity comes tension and a toxic co-parenting relationship.
- Look at this as a partnership – You two are adults and should behave as such. Your goal is to create a safe environment for your children. In business, partners work together, right? So, why should you two be any different? Get on the same page and keep your personal opinions of each other to a minimum. They don’t need to hear any negativity about the other parent.
- Let go of the grudges – Stop badgering each other by living in the past. Discussing each other’s parenting flaws is not acceptable. Stop fixating on previous conflicts or events that caused the separation or divorce. Those feelings don’t contribute to the children’s healthy lives and only make the situation worse.
- R.E.S.P.E.C.T – Being respectful goes a long way. Be considerate of feelings and take each other’s opinions seriously. No one said that you had to agree. You heard the saying, agree to disagree.
I know your past may still feel like the present. The holiday season doesn’t have to involve stress and anxiety. Don’t allow your separation baggage to prevent you from having a healthy co-parenting relationship with your ex. Remember, you can’t control your former partner. As long as the children haven’t been mistreated, focus on creating a safe and emotionally supportive space.
You two have one common bond — the children.
Anissa D. Blair is an Atlanta-based author and blogger with a passion for writing and being a mother and wife. In her blog, “Straight, No Chaser,” she represents everyday women “just trying to cope doing average s—” and covers all topics — from the good, the bad, and the ugly of navigating through life’s obstacles and roadblocks, to building and keeping successful relationships while trying to maintain your sanity. No taboo topics here. You can read her work at rollingout.com/anissa/ and follow her on social media @anissadblair on Instagram, @anissablair on Facebook, Blended In Love on YouTube.
