Alison Wellington is a certified dating and relationship coach whose realistic and unfiltered guidance has propelled her into the spotlight as a go-to expert in the field. Armed with a unique blend of education and mental-health counseling expertise, Wellington specializes in helping single people secure the partners they truly deserve.
In a crowded field of relationship advice, what sets your approach apart from others?
As a certified coach with a master’s degree in mental-health counseling, I offer the mental-health component to dating which spends significant time on you and not the dating pool with the supposed “pee” in it. Half of the time spent in my coaching program is about the individual: What are their standards and expectations? Can they match those things they require? What are their potential unhealed traumas? How can we continue to heal them and how can we build the muscle of discernment?
Share an example of a common misconception about dating or relationships that you often address in your coaching.
A common misconception about dating is that people don’t have control of their love life and it all depends on who they happen to find. They think they have control over their career, education and accolades — but not love. I gently remind them that none of us made it to where we are all alone. No man is an island. So, just like you and others had a hand is your successes thus far, you and others have a hand in the success — or failure — of your love life. You have to take action and invest in your love life, just like you have to invest in everything else in life.
How do you help women build self-confidence, and what role does it play in forming and sustaining healthy relationships?
As long as a person believes they aren’t worthy of love, attention, affection, etc., they are right … in a way. They are going to not put the effort to socialize and meet people; if they do get into a relationship, they’re going to push their partner away with accusations, negative self-talk and lack of trust. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. So, what I recommend before coming to me — for serious cases — is therapy. Therapists can help their clients begin to heal their traumas. Once they come to me with strategies to heal, we continue that process through accountability, affirmations and actionable steps to change their love life.
Are there specific challenges that women commonly face in the dating world that you find yourself addressing frequently?
Oh, yes. One challenge is simply showing up. The ladies need to go outside. You’d be surprised how many women claim they want love, attention [and] affection but refuse to socialize in person and online — which, to be honest, is illogical.
Are there any upcoming projects or collaborations that you’re particularly excited about?
Yes, I am excited to have found a home with Grown Woman TV for my podcast, “The Single Season.” The purpose of my show is to help single women navigate the sometimes-treacherous waters of dating and relationships.
