Iyanla Vanzant, renowned relationship expert and author, recently opened up about her experiences as a mother during an appearance on Cam Newton’s podcast, “Funky Friday.” At 70 years old, Vanzant candidly shared her struggles and shortcomings in motherhood, revealing a side of her life that many may not be aware of.
Facing the truth: Acknowledging past mistakes
During the podcast, Vanzant did not hold back, stating, “I was a horrible mother. Horrible. I was a great father.” This stark admission highlights her reflections on her parenting journey. She explained that when her children were growing up, she lacked the understanding of what it truly meant to be a nurturing mother. With the absence of a positive father figure in the home, she took on the roles of provider and protector, often at the expense of emotional nurturing.
The challenges of single motherhood
Vanzant is a mother to three children — two daughters and a son. Tragically, both of her daughters have died. She expressed regret over not being able to provide the nurturing and affirming environment that every child deserves. “I didn’t have time. I had three kids and a job and a crazy man. So I had to protect them. I had to provide for them,” she shared on the podcast. Single parents often juggle multiple responsibilities, leaving little room for emotional connection.
Heartbreak and loss
Vanzant’s journey has been marked by profound loss. Her youngest daughter, Nisa, died in July 2023, while her eldest daughter, Gemmia, died from colon cancer on Christmas Day in 2003 at the age of 32. Vanzant’s son is her only surviving child. The grief of losing her daughters has been a heavy burden, and she has spoken about the challenges of coping with such loss on various platforms, including the Tamron Hall show.
Overcoming the ego’s deception
In her discussions about grief, Vanzant emphasized the struggle against the ego’s deceptive intelligence, which often tells individuals they are not enough. This sentiment is particularly poignant for those who dedicate their lives to helping others, only to feel inadequate in their personal lives.
Despite the tragedies she has faced, Vanzant remains optimistic. She believes that her experiences have equipped her with a unique perspective and purpose.
A journey of growth and understanding
Iyanla Vanzant’s reflections on motherhood serve as a reminder of the complexities of parenting, especially for those who face challenges alone. Her honesty about her shortcomings and the pain of loss resonates deeply with many, offering a sense of solidarity to those navigating similar paths. As she continues to inspire others through her work, Vanzant’s journey is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the importance of self-compassion.
