Black men think black women are impressionable children.
I made this argument last year, and there is an abundance of evidence — all around us — that suggests this is true. YMCMB rapper Tyga gave an interview to VIBE magazine during which he expressed concern over reality television and its effects. Specifically, he bemoaned what shows like “Love & Hip-Hop” are supposedly doing to black women.
“Yeah, ‘Love & Hip Hop.’ I don’t even watch VH1, ‘cause it’s poison,” Tyga said. “A lot of women watch that stuff and it just takes them off the focus of what they think happiness is. As you get older the main goal is to have a family. That’s what it’s all about because you can be successful, have a lot of money, or whatever you do in life, but if you don’t have nobody to share it with, or family, it ain’t gonna matter.”
The “Rack City” rapper went on to say that black women’s lack of “role models” has caused a “problem.”
“Also, what I realized is black women don’t have a lot of role models as far as other black women,” he stated. “On some real s—, there’s black women that don’t look up to Oprah or Michelle Obama, because they’re looking at Instagram, they’re looking at VH1. I think that’s what the real problem is.[There are] no real black [female] role models. As a black man, we have a lot of role models. Like looking at Diddy, Russell Simmons, Jay Z, Kanye, Tupac; those are people we can super relate to, so it’s easier for men.”
There has been a lot of commentary, mostly from men and those who seek our approval, regarding what shows like “The Real Housewives” and “Scandal” and movies like Addicted “teach our black women.” How many adults are being “taught” by television and movies? Coming from a rapper who consistently objectifies women in his songs and videos, this type of “commentary” is both misogynistic and hypocritical. Would Tyga get defensive if someone pointed out that hip-hop artists like himself are as detrimental to young black men’s perceptions of manhood as he feels these reality shows are to womanhood? The plethora of violent video games that so many young brothers love — what are they doing to their psyches? To Tyga and those who think like him, black women are just mindless sheep, led by whatever images they see on a screen.
It’s also very telling that Tyga suggested that black men have numerous role models that they can “relate to,” and listed mostly rappers or hip-hop-related figures like Simmons. To him, black women “need” role models despite the visibility of the First Lady and Oprah Winfrey. Why doesn’t he think of Beyoncé or Alicia Keys or Queen Latifah as prominent role models just like Diddy or Jay Z? Could it be because his idea of what constitutes a good role model for women belies a higher standard for black women than for black men? A very successful rapper (like Jay Z) is a better role model for black men than his also very successful pop star wife is for women? Sounds like the same ol’ patriarchal song.
I had a somewhat-tense exchange with an old friend on social media after this friend asked why black women support films like Addicted, (which tells the story of a woman being unfaithful due to her addiction to sex) and yet women feel that cheating is wrong in the real world. These sort of questions reveal the way that we oftentimes view women; as weak-minded and easily-swayed, just a step above children. And we, as the “daddies,” have to step in and tell them to turn the television off and eat their vegetables. While we DVR crime shows like “Boardwalk Empire,” quote the movie Scarface and make excuses for Ray Rice.
If there is a major problem with “role models” in the black community, it’s that too many of our most prominent black men still feed into these sort of notions that infantilize black women. Too many black men are unwilling to throw off the colonial shackles that infected us with these patriarchal beliefs that we now use to justify our contempt of our women. Too many black men are afraid to burn down the madonna/whore binary entirely and reshape our views of respectability, womanhood and gender roles. We embrace “old school values” like homophobia and misogyny and pass them down to our sons. And it’s really become tired and dangerous. But this rapper’s words echo the ignorance that floats through every facet of the culture–from the music to the schools to the pulpit.
Maybe Tyga needs better role models.
