After Koereyelle DuBose left her abusive relationship, she knew she didn’t want to give up on finding love. She realized there were other women just like her who wanted to be married, but also desired to prepare themselves to attract a great partner and build a happy marriage. So, in 2013, she created The Single Wives Club.
DuBose’s club initiates women from all over the country and all around the world to engage in mentorships, workshops, and discussions that aid in self-development. Members can learn how to cook and how to get healthy, receive dating tips, and receive a range of other lessons that help women change their lives and prepare them for the man of their dreams.
The Single Wives Club is preparing for their annual conference in Atlanta. This year, the theme is “WERK.Pray.Slay.” From Oct. 30 to Nov. 1, DuBose is opening the society’s doors to the general public, as well as members, and creating an atmosphere where women with a common goal of bettering themselves for a more fulfilling life can learn the club’s key principles, listen to guest speakers, and enjoy themselves.
DuBose gave rolling out the real deal on what kind of women are perfect for The Single Wives Club and what attendees can expect from the upcoming conference.
How did The Single Wives Club first come together?
I was engaged in 2010. It ended up being an abusive relationship. When I ended the engagement, instead of blaming him and being mad and devastated, I wanted to figure out what my role was in it all and how I could prepare for when the right person came along. I read all these books, I went to counseling, I did soul-searching. At the end of it all, I said, “one thing I know for sure is that I gotta know how to cook.”
I started these cooking classes where I would invite my girlfriends over. It was kind of like a potluck, where they had to bring a dish and a recipe over. We were trying to teach each other the different meals that we knew. We started talking, and we realized we were all different, but the one thing that we had in common was we knew we wanted to be married one day. We had this goal of becoming wives. I realized there was no organization and were no classes or resources out there for single women in terms of relationship readiness. So, we went from cooking parties, to workshops in my living room, to events, to memberships, and now we do it all.
It seems like back in the day, mothers used to teach their daughters wifely skills. That doesn’t happen as often anymore.
Right. I come from a family where we have kids, but we don’t get married. So, I didn’t see healthy marriages. A lot of women are like that. If you’ve never seen it, you’re going to start to think it doesn’t exist and that it can’t happen for you and that love is not real. We have a mentor program call The Wives Society, which is an organization full of happily married women that mentor the single women each month. For a lot of us, they are our first example that yes, Black women do get married, they can be happy.
What’s the process like for choosing who can become a member?
We have an application process where it’s not necessarily a pass or fail type of thing. It’s more like, “What type of person are you? What type of self-development are you interested in? What is your idea of a wife?” My organization is not for everyone. Not everyone wants to be married, and everyone doesn’t buy into the idea that they have to work on themselves to prepare for the relationship. Some people do realize it’s going to take some work. We have to make sure we’re on the same page. But, if you think you’re signing up for matchmaker, that’s not what this is.
What are some of the resources you offer?
We have a virtual book club, we do classes each month. We also have classes each month that are free for everybody, not just our members. The Single Wives Club does web chats. We do a live Instagram chat once a month, which is open to the public, so you can connect with happily married women who are where you are.
Is there a fee to become a member?
The annual fee is $299. And keep in mind, the goal is to not be a member forever. A lot of our members have evolved to where they are getting in relationships, getting engaged. And not to say that’s the only thing that we measure our success rate by, but a lot of them are making really impactful changes in terms of their mindset, and to me, that’s everything. Once we can create a positive foundation for a better mindset, a lot of times, [members] start to experience all of the things they were looking for. Although our goal is to get married, we really focus on self-development — finding your passion and really finding happiness in your own life, because that’s how you’ll have the opportunity to create happiness with other people.
Approximately how many members have gotten married or are engaged?
We started membership program in 2013. In the last two years, we’ve had five [members] get married, most recently this past May. I have three that are engaged right now. Those five [married women] can definitely identify key lessons that they’ve learned by being a part of The Single Wives Club.
How many women do you generally have as members at any given time?
We have about 320 right now, although that number fluctuates.
Tell us about the upcoming WPS Weekend.
Since 2013, we have done an annual conference. It’s an opportunity for all of our members who don’t attend events regular to come to Atlanta. It’s not just for members, it’s open to the public as well. Our goal is to educate, empower and entertain our ladies to live a life that they love. It’s not just for single women, it’s for all women. We have resources that are useful for everyone. We are empowering you to “WERK” — meaning dedicating your life to your dream; to “Pray” — which means that you ground yourself in your faith; and to “Slay” — which means you’re going to show out in celebration of your success.
On Friday, we have a toast to working women, which is the official weekend kick-off part. It is also the release of my very first book [WERK 101: Get-Your-Life-Together Guide].
On Saturday, we’re doing our signature BYOB conference, which is “Be Your Own Boss.” We have a workshop with me, also Lakia Brandenburg is going to show entrepreneurs how to share their story and how to finally become an author. Pastor Kim Pothier is going to share her story of how she conquered “hell in high heels.” Charreah Jackson, who is the relationship editor for Essence magazine, is going to present “Act Like a Lady, Date Like a Pro.”
Sunday, we have the weekend finale. It’s called “The Big Hat Brunch,” and it’s hosted by The Wives Society. They’ll share the good, the bad, [and] the ugly of marriage. And we honor one wife with The Clair Huxtable Award, and she does a presentation on the business of being a wife. That’s going to be held at Scales 925.
What else do women need to know about the event?
We’re talking about everything from A to B — spirituality, sex, health, wellness, dating, relationships, cooking. We definitely have a wealth of resources. Whether you think you want to be married or not, you can definitely get something from membership or just from attending the event.