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Atlanta author Antoinette Smith explains why side chicks are winning

author Antoinette Smith poses w/one of her sex novels (photo credit Antoinette Smith)

Author Antoinette Smith poses w/one of her novels (Photo courtesy of Antoinette Smith)

According to the Washington Post, marriage rates have declined steadily since the 1980s. Today, they are lower than at any other time in history, including the Great Depression. In 2015, marriage is not the ultimate goal and many people are creating alternative relationships. Affairs and polygamous “situationships” are becoming the status quo as we move into a new relationship landscape lead by social media and reality TV. Pop culture has accepted the side chick as a part of life. Public humiliation is a thing of the past with stars like soulful songbird Fantasia,  R&B’s resident feminist Alicia Keys, Black Hollywood royalty Gabrielle Union and even country music sweetheart LeAnn Rimes wearing what used to be the scarlet letter proudly. VH1’s megahit, “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta,” definitely celebrated the “side chick” Joseline Hernandez, as she became the breakout star of the show and gained a spin-off show with co-star Stevie J.  Atlanta author and socialite Antoinette Smith wants everyone to know that she is a proud side chick and has no desire to be the “stupid main chick,” aka the wife. Smith says side b—–es are winning and the main chicks need to realize they are on the wrong side of the bed.

“I call myself a proud side bish; and that stands for beautiful, independent, successful and happy,” Smith says proudly, “I would never want to be my boyfriend’s wife. I tell him if he leaves his wife, I’m going to leave him.”

While Smith’s boldness is shocking, her thought process makes sense. “This man makes me happy and happiness is hard to find. He is cheating on someone that he stood in front of God with and said he would love and be faithful to until death do us part, yet he is here with me. Why would I want to change places with her?” she asks.

Smith met her married boyfriend seven months ago and refers to him as her own personal Morris Chestnut. “Not only is he chocolate with pretty teeth but he treats me well. I love him and his actions tell me he loves me so why would I give that up? I already know about his wife so he isn’t lying to me about that. I think I’m getting the better end of the deal,” she says.

Smith is a product of a challenging childhood, and shares her story with other women to empower them. “God has been so good to me. There are so many things that happened to me growing up that would say I should be dead by now,” she says. Her fighter’s spirit has refused to allow her to pity herself or to make excuses; instead, Smith has taken the negative stereotypes hurled at her and other women like her and has turned them into a booming business for herself and her five children.  She makes T-shirts with the “proud side bish” slogan and others she has flipped into positive acronyms. “Another favorite shirt of mine is one that says THOT; I turned THOT into: ‘that hustler over there’ and the shirts have been selling.”

An entrepreneur with a distinctive voice that can also be heard in her six published novels, Smith says she doesn’t know how to be anything other than honest. “I didn’t have a mother growing up so that’s been hard for me being a mother to my children,” she admits. When asked if she’d ever experienced love she pauses for a moment. “The closest thing I’ve felt to unconditional love is with my married boyfriend. That’s why I am not going to give that up.”



9 Comments

  1. Uniquely RebelliousDavis on October 31, 2015 at 10:35 am

    Love it!!!! Girl keep moving to the top, and don’t stop. You’re an inspiration to plenty of people. I wish you nothing but success.

  2. Juicy on October 31, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    “PSB” CONGRATULATIONS ANTOINETTE… YOU ARE ALWAYS 100% REAL…STAY TRUE TO YOU…I LOVE YOUR… REAL SPIRIT! MOST LIVE IN A SECRET YOU SHARE YOUR BOLDNESS WITH THE WORLD! Y’ALL BETTER READ HER BOOKS! I HAVE ALL OF THEM!

  3. shellyTheGreat on November 2, 2015 at 2:41 pm

    the aspects of black culture that is now celebrated is pure ratchet trash. side chicks are winning, but in this society, what is right is wrong and what’s wrong is right.

  4. hazel eyes on November 4, 2015 at 5:42 pm

    U r a sad desperate case for a woman….U ONLY SETTLE FOR THAT SIDE LINE POSITION BECAUSE U KNOW AND HE KNOWS THATS ALL UR WORTH…N HES NOT LEAVING HIS WIFE NOT BECAUSE U TELL HIM NOT TO..but because u know in ur heart and soul he actually loves his wife and he wouldn’t dare make u his main thang… HES TOO EMBARA

  5. Omygooodness on December 28, 2015 at 9:58 am

    TRUST & BELIEVE, you ARE NOT his only side chick. Just as he’s disrespecting his wife, he’s also disrespecting you too with another side chick. You’re probably side chick #2. Confirmation that you’re Mentally Miserable, “if he leaves his wife, I’ll leave him”. You have trust issues & feel you’re not worthy of a healthy relationship. Just as Joseline, is terrified & very jealous of other women, so are you. You’re terrified of knowing that he may be doing the same thing to you as he’s doing to his wife. Again, TRUST & BELIEVE, HE IS!!!!!!!!! #beentheredonethat

  6. Alex Davis on February 23, 2016 at 8:54 am

    “Justification” suggest a tinge of guilt. “Society” places demands and limits on each of US. And, we will all respond in our own way. Not having been “Loved” is a terrible reality. But, many young people were not “Planned For”. How a person responds to their “Realities” is their business. Unfortunately, this “Reality” is shared by “A Generation”. Will their children learn to “Love”? I don’t concern myself with Adults!

  7. Tanika Green on March 21, 2016 at 2:27 pm

    You sound real stupid if anything every happen to this man you love and that’s someone else’s husband you wouldn’t get one penny his wife get’s it all why waste your time and energy on something that would never be yours but at the end of the day your going to pay for this because God honors marriage and your messing with a marriage that is a Covenant with the lord so when your world turns upside down don’t ask God why are all these things happening to you because what God gives he can also take so when that time comes you
    should already know why and plus you 5 kids set an example lord have mercy on your soul

  8. remy on June 10, 2016 at 10:38 am

    Love it baby women can be dogs 2 <3 <3

  9. Nafeesah Abdullah on November 6, 2017 at 5:30 am

    I think that this writer needs to have her priorities checked she’s openly bragging how she’s sleeping with someone’s husband and has no shame in it. Actually side chicks don’t win because when their vanity wears off they are tossed aside in the same manner as the wife or girlfriend only then will they see what the wife or girlfriend had truly felt. She also looks like a hoodrat with that funky ass hair makeup and cheap nail job. I don’t know how women like her sleep at night knowing they’re helping to destroy someone’s marriage or relationship and she’s being very selfish because there could be children involved that she’s not thinking about when she’s sleeping with their father or a marriage that she’s interfering with because she’s needy and lonely and any man will do even if it’s your husband or boyfriend. She’s also encouraging behavior that’s unacceptable and black women do not benefit off being someone’s second choice. I’ve had the other woman try to fight me over my boyfriend and guess what she got tossed the same way my boyfriend did me and I bet her hoodrat ass didnt see it coming either thinking she won by breaking my relationship apart when karma is a bitch to deal with.