I recently came across an article titled “Black Women are Raising Bitch Ass Niggaz.” The title itself initially made me not want to read it, and definitely not want to share it. After seeing it in my newsfeed a few times, I decided to at least give it a read. I really wanted to hear what the author had to say that hasn’t been said already.
For the longest time, Black mothers, especially single ones, have been blamed for everything that goes wrong with their sons. They’ve been blamed for crime, miseducation, weakness and everything that’s bad about some of these Black men out here.
Now I can’t say that this article didn’t have many truths in it, but I’m truly tired of this being the main truth being shared. I know several men who were raised by Black women, and some by single Black mothers, who have grown to be strong, respectful and successful Black men.
We can’t keep blaming the woman first for the absence of the man who fathered the child, and then for the way child turns out in the end. Yes, parents are the first role models, and they are often where we develop our initial values, but they are not always the end all to be all.
There are far too many men who were raised in unfavorable situations, who have grown up to become more than what they come from. Some mothers don’t even portray a great example for their daughters, but all of these women don’t grow up to be messy and ratchet. At some point in our lives, we have to take accountability for our own actions and outcome.
Men can keep making excuses for their failures in life, or they can man up and become a better example for the next generation. I have brothers, cousins, friends and more who were raised by Black women and have made personal choices to be upstanding men.
Let’s stop blaming the women for the shortcomings of the men. Her problem clearly started with the man who decided to be an absentee father, and the men in her life who stood by and watched her try to raise a man alone. Sure, some moms truly are to blame for the way their sons turn out, but they can’t take all of the blame.
