Question: How important is timing when it comes to dating?
Terry: Timing is a major factor when it comes to establishing a healthy relationship. People go through different journeys in life, so it’s very possible that you could meet someone you’re very compatible with who is just in a different phase in life than you are at that particular time. That’s not something to get upset about, cut them off for or burn bridges over. I think it’s a good idea to keep things on a cordial, respectful level whenever a romantic situation ends with someone you can actually see yourself with long-term. You may cross paths with them in the future where the timing is right for both of you. If you are really meant to be with someone, things will work themselves out. The last thing you want to do is force someone into a relationship sooner than they’re ready just because that’s what you want at the time.
It may hurt to not get what you want exactly when you want it, but you will be better off long-term if you allow things to happen when the time is right for both people involved. We need time to grow, develop and become the best versions of ourselves, and so do the people we date. Don’t confuse bad timing with incompatibility because they’re two completely different things.
Christal: I have more experience with this than most. I’ve constantly heard that I’m a great woman, but some of the guys I’ve been interested in were not in a place to want to be with a woman who was ready for a serious relationship. While this can be disappointing, I truly believe that if something is for us it will absolutely happen. Trying to manipulate or force something to happen before its time is like turning the heat up on the oven, attempting to rush baking a cake. In this case, you may get a crisp outer crust, but the center will be gooey and undone. This is like a relationship that starts before both parties are 100 percent ready for the relationship. Trying to rush or force things could sabotage what could’ve been a great opportunity years later, or at the very least a great friendship in real time.
Often when the timing is off, the couple will never reunite so there isn’t always a happy ending. Understand that if you continue working on being the best person you can be, the right person will eventually show up at the right time. When you truly believe this, it won’t be heartbreaking to let go of someone who isn’t in sync with your needs at the time because you’ll realize something even greater is around the corner.
If you have a question you would like to see featured in “Relation-tips,” email it to [email protected] You can follow relationship expert Terry Deron at @terryderon and rolling out’s Relationships Editor Christal Jordan at @enchantedpr.